I was in a relationship with this man for just under 2 years, not long you may think, but my husband before him i was with for 10years and he was a control freak, i was on my own for a year and ventured back out to the dating, i met as i thought was a caring, considerate, understanding, wonderful man who i fell in love with, little did i know this persona would change and show the real person who laid beneath.
it started with my friends who were male, well i thought that was ok and i understood, so i dropped them as he didnt like it, then it went to the internet, so i dropped that too, only he used to come in and check to make sure that my net was really cut off, also went thru my phone and even had problems with me having a number on my phone for a company "because it was run by men" he accused me of having someone upstairs coz my son went to the toilet and even went as far as to say it was his best friend, everything that he done he blamed on me, everything he said he said was my fault "that i pushed him to it"
this is just scratching the surface of everything that happened.
well this April, well April 30th to be exact, I told him enough was enough and i didnt want to be with him anymore, god that hurt, coz i still loved him, but knew i couldnt be with him, he was killing me from the inside.
you would think that would be the end of it right?
he followed me, he called me about 200 times a day, txt me, emailed me, even emailed my son blaming him, then when i didnt not respond, he came banging on my door, shouting abuse thru my letter box, then stating it was my fault that he did it, because i wouldnt respond to him, i ignored and if i ignore then he gets angry so i should know better, it he called he hurled abuse at me, saying vile things, stating that everything that had happened in the relationship that was bad was because of me, he wasnt to blame for anything, that i should listen to him as he was the only one who ever cared for me and he would be the only one who would ever care for me....
for a long time i believed him, i came apart completely, i am now a hermit because its easier to stay in, no one can hurt me, he cant come up behind me and murder me as he has said he would and he certainly cant follow me.
i plucked up the courage to report things to the police (they had been called out a couple of times before) because after 7months of all this abouse from him and all the calls, he started bringing in my son, saying that he was causing criminal damage to his property, even sent the police round because "a tub of icecream with 2 spoons" was thrown at his house... even the officers said that they thought it was silly and that it was part of the harrassment..
1. why would a 14yr old boy be walking about with expencive icecream in this weather and with metal cutlery
2 would they then throw the spoons aswell as the icecream at the persons house
3 and most importantly, my son saw what this guy was capable of and what he done, he would not want to agravate matters when as far as he was concerned things had calmed (latter months of this guys abuse only happened when my children were away with their father)
the police have stated to him he has to leave me alone, but he done waht i knew he would and has convinced them that all this is in my head, the office stated to me i had to keep my son away from him, my son hasnt been anywhere near, on some of the dates he has even been grounded, so he has done it again, made everything seem like my fault,
the police have my phone, for all the evidence that is on it, but they havnt even been thru it, not even read the emails that they asked for me to burn to disc, saying that there is a backlog and my phone is at the bottom of the list plus if there is any that come in that as far as the police consider should take prior to mine they will, so this could go on for a long time.
i thought that by going to the police things would be sorted, how wrong can i be, its just continuing, i feel belittled and in a way wish i hadnt gone to the police, but things wernt stopping, they were getting worse again, so i thought the police would help, i just feel that he still has that control he used his "standing memeber of the communtiy" act and it worked.
im sorry this is along post, i just feel let down at a time when i really wanted the help, but it didnt come