Why Do I .....?

You should not blame yourself, I stood out for myself and I still take abuse and now it’s even worst, I have nothing to loose anymore I will go down fighting. To hell with everything!

You need to get away before it is to late u are a person not garbage I will pray for u that god will help u get though this

I know exactly how you feel. My husband is abusive, emotionally, verbally, financially, and once in a while, physically. He has made sure that I am stuck here, he knows I have no where to go, no family no friends, just stuck.



All I can tell you is that somehow I am going to get away from this. We have tried counseling and, well, he just creats his own interpretation of whats going on; he doesnt consider my feelings; the connection is gone.



You should go to counseling. I started going about two months ago and I think its working. I'm getting stronger all the time. Starting to think clearer. Things I use to think he said or did to me because it was my fault, I am now seeing that even if I do screw up or say the wrong thing, he has no write to treat me like garbage.

whydoi: you are not to blame for what has happened to you. if anyone should take the blame for what has happened to you its whoever does it to you. I want to let you know that no matter what you do please dont keep on blaming yourself for the abuse. if you read my story about child abuse you will notice that i never did blame myself for what happened to me. SO PLEEEEEASE DONT BLAME YOURSELF PLEEASE.

Yes. Do not blame yourself. She sounds like she doesn't like herself very much and is taking that frustration out on you. The easy target. She knows you love her, so she thinks she can get away with this behavior.



Don't let her.



Get yourself out and don't look back.



It feels like the hardest thing in the world to do, but you must.

this is a very good wheel of pattern of the emotional abuser and i use it to keep my eyes open every time that i start to doubt what i now know to be true as my eyes are open...



http://mountcope.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/power-and-control.gif



if the physical is coming into play with you its time to start thinking about what you would like to do...



it is difficult as they tend to make you believe you cant be without them and well it does hurt to make that step out of the situation, its hard to get yourself back without all the doubting that has been placed within you... that is the way they work, that is the way they keep you with them...



i dont like the word victim, i have been one of those in one way or another for a long time, emotional abuse is the hardest and does the most damage.... we dont see it till we are completely dependant on the other for everything that we are and to leave them is the hardest thing.



Do not be ashamed, you care for another deaply and they have taken advantage of that in every way that they can, never be ashamed as you are not the one in the wrong for what has happened, the abuser is the one who should be ashamed for their actions to hurt another who cares for them as that isnt love or caring, that is control.

Have you considered speaking to a counsellor? Just a suggestion...because often the reasons why people stay in abusive relationships lie in past experiences. Perhaps we have experienced abuse in the past and lack confidence to walk away from our existing relationship, thinking that it is better to be in an abusive relationship than not in any relationship at all.



I hope and pray you will find someone who can help you to see that you are a person of dignity and worth. Don't be ashamed of yourself - look for someone who can help you to move past your lack of self confidence and worth. You can do it okay?

Thanks for the comment Randomstatic. I forgot where I read a list of the things the Emotional Abuser does but I could relate to about 90% of them... after tonight it goes up to 95%. She got physical with me. When I asked her why was "he" here to give you a full body massage at 10pm at night? I never got a response other than "massage".



She blew up into a rage and came at me hitting and pushing me, yelling at me to get out. I immediately recalled this item on this list I read, raised both hands about my face level, open palms to her in a "hey, I give up here" motion and said "Whoa". I didn't speak another word, backed up in a calm way, turned around and walked away.



I must have processed over a hundred thoughts and feelings and thinking about what my involvement was in this (we victims do this well, right?). Almost 8 years with this girl, probably split up around 10-12 times and actually caught her and her rich guy together.



I could write a book on the stuff that happened, if only I were not so ashamed for taking the abuse for so long.

you are not to blame for the actions of another person, when it comes to emotional things when you care and when you love you want to do things for the other and to make it so there is nothing there to hurt the other and will try and ease it any way that you can, emotional abuse is the other person taking advantage of your good nature and the fact that you love them, that doesnt make it your fault at all, you are a good person and you do not need to be taking the blame for anothers actions, they need to take for their own actions, not you..... within emotional abuse that is what they do, they make you blame urself, it makes it harder to deal with and well its easier to blame ourselves than to think the other person who is meant to love us could hurt us so deaply



please whatever you do, do not blame yourself.