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Don't Know Where To Turn To.first

 I have never been in a chat site and am nervous, but also at the end of my rope.  I always thought I just might be the crazy one, but the fact of the matter is my own mother is an emotional abuser.  I always knew she was manipulative and dishonest and very "two-faced",  but we always swept it under the rug.  However the other night she actually got physical and attacked me then went downstairs and claimed I attacked HER, then told people the same story the next day.  I am an adult so it feels embarrassing, but when I went online and looked up Emotional Abuse, she fit each and every line.  And then when I saw the signs in a Victim, I fit .  I have a 14 year old sister and do not want her to end up making the same mistakes I did as a result of the emotional damage being inflicted.  My father doesn't know what to do either and it is destroying us to always be on edge.  However through it all She remains "blameless and never at fault" I need some help because at the point I'm at, I would rather be dead than take anymore of her crap. I guess I'm just hoping someone can help me figure out what I need to do, because only my father and sister know the REAL her.  Everyone else gets the fake her and the lies where she plays the victim.  What can I do??

Vanessa27 Vanessa27 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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Hi there, well my partners mother is extreemly abussive and manipulative. It has taken four years but he has decided not to be a part off her life anymore. It is very hard but it got to the point he has become unwell. It is so hard but there are support groups online and in person and they can help you. Hang in there and remember its not you its her.

it seems like there are a lot of narcisstic people out there and when they become violent you have to protect yourself from them!! They justify every bad things they do and say as they are the victim because you did not bow down to her and say she is never at blame that you are the blame...my mom was like that all her life, my dad just tuned her out and just kept out of everything, as he did not know how to handle her. He knew if he spoke up he would live to reqrett every single day of his life!! You need to get your sister out of there and have her petition the court to live with you and demand her get a psychological test as she is physically violent and you need to call the cops to document the case. Sorry I am honest and to the point but you need touch love on your mother!! Kids have rights and so do adult children against abusive parents...if you don't nothing will change as they I know my mom is 80 and she can still be mean but they give her medicine to keep her in check!!! I remember visiting her and her roommate got her walker so close to her rwheel chair my mother gave her a sneer and a dirty look and said I don't like her boy the look bought back memories...I felt sorry for the people who take are of her I know what she is really like!! They always say oh your mom is so sweet!! Oh if they knew the stories I could tel them they would not think she was so darn sweet!! LIke they say no one knows what goes on behind closed doors!! Get a lawyer and get your sister out!! you dad will pay for your sister leaving as your mother will never shut up about how bad everyone treats her. When my dad died well everyone stopped seeing my mom, they really only came to me dad never mom!

my mom does the exact same thing. she got physical and then blamed it on me and it is never her fault. im 15.