My Life

my dad abuses me. Occasionally it used to be physical until I became bigger than him. Now it's emotional. Those who have never experienced emotional abuse don't understand just what it's like. All day, every day is filled with yelling, threats and disapproval. No mattwr what I do I can never live up to his expectations. I have a 4.7 gpa, play three sports, don't drink or do drugs and scored a 2300 on my SAT this year as a sophomore. Yet my dad always puts me down, belittling me to straight calling me an idiot and how i'll never be anything. He also refues to treat me like a human. If I try to say something he'll yell at me and say he doesn't give a **** about my opinion. He insults me in front of others outside to the point of making others feel uncomfortable about witnessing it. He always acts ashamed of me. On several occasions he has attacked me with pots or come at me with a knife threatening me. Just today he picked up a small pot filled with left over soup from lunch and threatened to kill me. He constantly nags about everything, trying to control everything. If he finds my stuff not in my room, he throws it outside or in the trash. He doesn't acknowledge anything he does as wrong. The worst thing about the abuse is that I can't properly articulate it into words. The constant abuse wears me down, and I always have to stay aware, never knowing when his mood will swing and he will lash out at me. 

alexman93 alexman93
18-21, M
5 Responses Feb 11, 2010

If things get out of hand or you feel unsafe make sure to get help. Social workers, counselors, teachers at school, whoever you trust. Protect yourself and seek out others if the situation gets worse. Dont think that there arent ways to get out or people dont care because they do.

My heart is sad to hear about your situation. I am a married woman in an emotionally abusive relationship that I have been in for 25 years. I get so angry at myself for putting up with the abuse and allowing my sons to be abused as well. I know it is so very hard to keep focused when you are in the middle of the abuse. However, based on what you posted I can see that you are a very driven individual and you are very strong. You are doing all the right things; getting good grades, keeping involved in sports and away from drugs and alcohol. BTW what an amazing SAT score you achieved. I would definitely find a counselor to talk to as they will be able to help you to continue to stay focused on your goals and provide you some tools to help you deal with the emotional abuse. You are not too far away from graduation and leaving for college. Then you will be on your own and away from the hurtful words that scar the soul. After all these years I finally have the courage to leave this relationship and look after me. I am a survivor and you are too.

You aren't alone. My dad was emotionally abusive for most of my life until recently. Please, talk to someone. I wish I could say it gets easier when you get help but it doesn't, at least not right away. In the long run, it'll help. Good luck!

I understand and I feel your father has deep seated problems. Please try as hard as you can to stay away from him. Be proud of who you are and never ever let any one take the true person you are away. one day i hope to write my story, it is unbelievable and i wish it wasn't true and had never been. I'm trying t get help now.. Are you still a minor? Please if it gets much more, go to your school and tell them or ask for help. You don't deserve that . I t hurts me soo very bad to think of ppl being abused.. my prayers are with you.. hugs across the miles and for you too SKY!!

your not alone