Only Now Seeing The Light

i left my ex 2 years ago ...  i knew when i was with him for 10 years that something was not right ...i was not allowed to work .. go out and had lists of chores to do daily!! he would go mad if i did not complete them .
behind his back i got a job ... this opened my eyes and found myself with friends and wanting to go out... after threats at work i never went home that night!!!
we have 2 kids together  so i had to go back each day as he would not let me have them alone .... i met someone and this made him desperate and insisted that i was at his house daily for 5.30 every morning to get them ready for school etc ... i did this for over a year .... still enduring abuse daily but was thankful that i did not have it at night ...

                                Of course i could not have a relationship so ended up alone and on my mums sofa for 6 months ... i also accumalated a stalker via text who sent so many nasty things for about 9 months ..i was signed off work with stress after collapsing at my desk! (found the sim card at his house 2 months ago..was him all along pretending to be someone eles)

he then tried to make out i was losing the plot and was an unfit mother ...i hung to his every word ... he had done this for 10 years so looking back i can see how weak i was)
eventually my mum helped me get my own place ... i remember the feeling of having blow up bed ..etc ..AND I LOVED IT!!! it was mine ... and i could stay up late ... have friends over children stayed ..
tho the text and calls continued all day .. thru to early hours from my ex!!! sometimes he was nice and telling me i was a lovely mum ... then snap ... he was telling me he was going to get me sectioned and that the kids dont need me!! ..i was permantly a crumpled mess ....

one day on a social network i was chatting to an ex from my teenage years and he invited me for a drink ....when we met i knew i wanted to be with him .... but no man would stick about!! but he did .... and he made me stronger .. became my rock ...
without the encouragement i would still be getting up at 5.30 ..spending weekends with him and going on family holidays (apparently for the kids sake)
i would like to say all is great now ... i have moved in with my boyfriend .. i have my children 5 days a week .. and we are expecting a baby in june!!!
but as i sit and write this my ex has already tried to call .. and has text 3 times ... little things asking if i have done things correctly with kids .. then a voicemail raging that my daughter went to bed to early!!!
it does not stop over night ... and i now myself and my family will endure more of his crap! but the strength i feel is beyond my dreams now .. and im getting stronger gradually with the support from my boyfriend!!

my divorce should be thru in dec ..would of been sooner but he fought it!!!! i should of known!

may i also add that the obbsession does not stop when they meet someone eles ...he has met a few but still it continues .... only you can stop the cycle by being strong and using the word no a hell of alot !!!
just so glad i now know there is a name for what has happened to me ... felt so issolated!!
good luck to you all out there ... its a hard ride but hang on

michix michix
Nov 17, 2010