I'm A Man Who Was Raped By A Woman

I'm sure some of you (if not all of you) are looking at this title and saying "real men don't get raped by women! That's just silly! You must have wanted it! There's no way a straight man could not enjoy having sex with a woman!" If any of those thoughts cross your mind, please don't bother reading the rest of this.

Over this past summer (2012) I met someone who I had a lot of mutual friends with. Her and I got along pretty quickly and hung out a lot. One night we were together and she told me she liked me and wanted to kiss me. I was hesitant since I didn't really feel the same way about her, but it was the first time in my life any woman had ever admitted she was attracted to me (in a non-platonic way), and it was my first opportunity at experiencing physical intimacy. So I let my hormones get the best of me and agreed to kiss her, but stated outright that I didn't want to have sex, and she said that was ok.

We started kissing and the whole time she kept taking off more of her clothes and my clothes as well, and I kept making it clear that I didn't want her touching me below my waist. For a while she complied, but eventually she managed to get on top of me, quickly pulled my pants down, and grabbed the base of my penis. I tried to withdraw but she had a pretty firm grip, and we were in a place where we couldn't afford to make much noise. So I was hesitant to try and force her off of me because I didn't want to be loud. Also, since she was the first and only woman who'd ever been openly attracted to me, I didn't want to upset her because I had enjoyed the experience up until that point, and hoped we would continue or do it again some other time.
After giving me oral sex briefly, she climbed on top and tried to force my penis into her vagina. At this point I really tensed up and shot up to try and push her off. But she had most of her body weight on my chest (and she was heavier than me) and had a tight grip on my penis, so I couldn't really move without hurting her or myself and making a bunch of noise. The whole time I kept telling her to stop, don't do that, this isn't safe (we weren't using protection and I had no idea if she had any STDs or when she had last been tested), but she kept going. It was painful for me because I was flaccid, so she really had to push my penis hard to get it in. Even after she got it in it was still painful because I was flaccid the whole time. I was really tense and confused and afraid and didn't know how to react, so I just laid there until she was done.

When she was done she just rolled over and went to sleep, and I slept next to her thinking about what just happened. I was scarred and confused, but most of all just pissed that she had stolen my virginity from me, and that I didn't even get to enjoy losing it. I wasn't exactly "saving" it, but I at least wanted to lose it with someone that I genuinely cared about So I cut off contact with her soon afterwards, but now that I've actually sort of had sex I want to do it a lot more than I used to. But as I said, she was the first and so far the only woman to ever be attracted to me. I'm not a very attractive guy so it's not like I can go out and get laid whenever I want, like a lot of other people can. Now all of the sexual urges I had before are on turbo drive, and simply ************ isn't enough to satisfy me like it used to be.

That was the first (and so far only) time I've been raped, but I've been a victim of sexual assault before. One time when I was really young, about 6 or so, I was over a friend's house and his older sister was there. She was about 15 or 16, and while I was there she pulled me up into her room and took both of our clothes off. I don't remember all the details perfectly, I just remember her telling me to touch different parts of her, and remember her putting me on my back and touching me as well. Of course I had no idea what was going on, and she didn't physically abuse me or anything. The whole situation is blurry so I wasn't traumatized, but I think I had repressed that memory pretty well until the recent rape incident happened. It wasn't really until now that I realized she had been sexually abusing me as a child.

Now as I said before, if you don't think men can be raped by women then you are definitely reading the wrong post. But if you were curious and read anyway, now you can see that it is possible. I hope that reading this has opened up a few minds and made some people think differently, or even reached out to another guy who has been through the same thing, but hasn't been able to talk about it because men aren't supposed to be open about these things.
Cuddlebuns Cuddlebuns
18-21, M
Dec 6, 2012