I Am a Victim of the Past
Ever since the day i was born it has been one struggle after another. Life has never given me a break.
It all started with my parents, my father the mad psychotic alcoholic, beatin my mother and my brother and i. It wasn't the physical pain it was the mental confusion as to why it was happening.
My father comin into my room at night to tuck me into bed, stop please don't . . . . . It went on for some years.
My father would hug me so tightly i couldnt breath for about 15 mins at a time, telling me he how much he loved me. I think this is some form of torture cos thats exactly what it felt like at the time.
My mother left him when i was 10 and moved us over to england where life was supposed to have been easier. ha what a joke!
I was left babysittin my siblings while she went on bender after bender, then suddenly i had become the mother. After two years we finally got a place to live after moving from place to place. I still played the mother and cleaned the house an god forbid if i missed any part of the house i was in for a beating. Ah well i am nothin after all just a worthless piece of crap. So boyfriends came an went with my mother and one particular one came to live with us, an ex con but a brutal one in every sense of the matter . Both physically and sexually and so history repeats itself.
I finally got away at 18 and began my own life plagued by drink and drugs. What a surprise. Anyways i'm ok now i'm 31 and been through counsellor after counsellor and i just can't release the past. My heart still hurts so much, but one thing i have got is two beautiful children who make me grateful for life and the beauty in it.
Thanks for reading my story.
