27 Years Of Verbal Abuse

Hi! I am currently going through divorcing of my husband of 27 years. During that time, I was emotionally, verbally and to some extent physically abused by him. We have one daughter who is 23 years old. The odd part is, that even though I tried so hard to help my husband, I still love him..(there were many good times too!)..but I feel guilty for walking away and not trying to help him...I mean I wouldnt walk away from him is he were terminally ill?...However, in my heart, I know that I cannot continue to live this false facade of a life. Now my husband is telling me that I have ruined his life......alot of guilt. I am basically a pretty positive individual, and I know I will get through this....long journey. I just don't want the person I love to tell me how fat, stupid, retarded, sick, dumb, gross, that I am to them on a daily basis. Nor do I want to ever hear someone inform me that they are going to "smash my head in with a baseball bat"........So here I am, trying to heal and trying to just get through the divorce process...
blueflamestudio blueflamestudio
51-55, F
2 Responses May 6, 2012

Yours is a mirror image of my own life -23 years married,the in your face verbal aggression and threats of physical harm-the-
"I'll drive your ##@@ teeth down your #@#@ throat if you #@#@ tell me what to do-
after I SUGGESTED he not look at the dust on the shelf-he was standing on a step ladder putting in fire alarm batteries Or "You need bashing with a piece of 4 x2" and so on it goes..I too,as most of us on this forum have been told how dumb,ugly,brain dead and stupid -I am-and he wonders why I dont smile anymore.
except that I haven't yet found the courage to take the first steps to wards becoming my own person again.I have 2 beautiful daughters-18 and 21 and it will hurt to loose them as they only see his good side.
How did you find the courage to move on-help

When you feel that you no longer can continue with this type of abuse, you should not think of staying any more. It is not worth it. That is not what life is all about. When a relationship cannot be sustained ba<x>sed on mutual respect, there is nothing that justifies the continuation of that relationship. Verbal abuse takes away peoples self esteem and dignity. Whether a person does this knowingly or unknowingly is not the issue. The point is what is not acceptable publicly should not be accepted privately as well. Good luck.

This is my first post. I have been married 25 years with 5 children. And I am a R.N. and a social worker. But I am also a victim of verbal abuse. I cannot believe what my marriage has done to me. I don't even recognize myself. I was happy, self confident, and optomistic. I had so many dreams. And I have finally reach the point I'm done. Bur I have lost everything that ment anything to me. And I'm just not strong anymore. I'm just in the process of ending it. But I'm just so defeated.