Long Trip Home

I am not currently in a relationship, however, in my past marriage I was verbally abused. I was completely unable to do anything right. If I did something, then I should not have done it and if I did not do something, then I should have done it. I could not win. And it made me feel like an "i". Like a speck on a flea's behind. That is how I felt. That is how I was made to feel. My ex-husband, needless to say, was a very angry man.

And the thing about verbal abuse, it will eventually lead to physical abuse. One day, I found it necessary to run from him - as fast as my litte legs would move. He tackled me. Then he told me that I was falling and he was trying to catch me. Sound familiar? Obviously, verbal abusers do not believe in mutual respect. What is to keep a man from hitting you, when he obviously believes you are lower than him? So before I could be used as a punching bag, I left for my sake and for my children's sake. Five years later, still alone. Do I have trust issues? Well, of course! The lesson is this: Some crazy merely leads to more crazy. If you don't like crazy and the other person likes things as they are, you have no choice but to leave. For your own self-respect and well being.
lostdolphin lostdolphin
51-55, F
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

I hear you...my husband and I started counseling 8 was ago. It has helped a lot, but I now am so angry. And there are days, like today, when it is All My fault. And all I can think about is divorce.

How did your kids handle you're leaving? I have two and we would have to move, things would get quiet but so different...

He was my children's stepfather, so they were happy to see him go. I did not realize how much they disliked him nor how much they were afraid of him until after I left.

My 9yr old actually him that its "peaceful"when he isn't here. I know he doesn't realize that we would have to move and all, but he really said it didn't he? Hmmmmm,........still thinking. I don't want to make a decision based on anger....

And I meant eight weeks, not sure how I left that off.

How are you today?

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