What is Happening? Can Counseling Help?

My husband of 17 yrs has gone off the deep end. He has always had some "demons" , once in a while he'd check out and sit in front of the tv for weekends or a little longer. but in the end we always were together, and there for each other. I thought we had each others back, so to speak. He started working a couple of yrs ago at a new place. Since then he has gone off the deep end: mean, mean, mean to me. Long story short, he has been verbally abusive. Again, I see he always had some issue, but it was few and far between. Much more good than bad. W have been in counseling for a few weeks, and I thought we were on the mend. It's been a tiring-exhausting-couple of years. I am willing to forgive. but suddenly he is a total total JERK. Everything that has happened is my fault (which I knowit isn't). the next minute of course he knows he is verbally abusive, and we have to continue counseling.

Does anyone out there know about counseling and verbal abuse? This is definitely the problem, and we r in a place with counseling where he must accept that he really is abusive. I'm so so so so tired. And hurt. But if this is worthit, any hope at all, I will continue. Any formally abusive men have any input?
LifeCanBlow LifeCanBlow
41-45, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your husband. In my relationship, I'M the one with the demons. I go through a roller coaster of emotions. I can't imagine how hard it is for my husband to keep up. Please don't lose faith in your marriage. Please be there for him while he struggles with whatever it is that he is struggling with. Maybe you can help him find an outlet for his job stress? Odds are that he knows you're struggling too, and he just doesn't know how to help you, or himself.

I hear you. I try hard to be supportive,I try hard to do what HE wants. But it's getting to be that there's nothing I can say or do that is good enuf. I'm so sad.im tired of feeling/wondering if everything I say or do will make things better or worse for him. He says he knows he is all these awful things. Then he does all these things to me. Not concerned for me. I have stopped saying I love you, because I don't even know what that means anymore. The counselor says its just like a drinking problem, good days and bad. In the meantime I cry. I think I have lost faith in my marriage...