Why I Am A Virgin

I have been thinking about sex a lot lately. I've even dreamed about having sex in great detail, but I've never actually done it. I've never even *********** or had an ******. I recently had a boyfriend that I stopped seeing because he was insistent on having sex. I realized he had a longing that only sex could satisfy and I couldn't give it to him.

When we were together we kissed and made out almost every night. He has groped my breasts and I have felt his penis. One night I even tried to bring him to ****** with my hands. He couldn't climax an he became even more frustrated and I started crying and he had to take me home. Once he got his hand in my panties, I was so turned on that I wanted him to take me right then but when he started to pull down my panties, something in me made me stop him. I just couldn't go all the way, I felt that if I did I would lose something that I could never get back. We only went out once after that night and that was when I told him I couldn't see him any more.

Is something wrong with me, I want to have sex and I want to stay a virgin both. I know this is impossible and it is terribly frustrating. Since I have dumped my boyfriend, I have been getting horny and turned on by attractive men. I work in a library, many guys flirt with me, I don't let them know how turned on I get. I fantasize about having sex with them between the book shelves. I've started wearing pads so my lust juice won't soak through my clothes. I've gone so far as looking at vibrators on the internet, I haven't gotten up the courage to order one yet. Deep down, I feel that if I *********** I would no longer be a virgin.
Kuniko Kuniko
18-21, F
8 Responses Jul 16, 2010

You should consider exploring touching and looking at yourself (using a mirror).

Get married soon ;)

When the time is right you'll lose your virginity. Now is just not the right time for you. I also feel you take pride and appreciate your virginity so you're not just willing to jump on anyone who's breathing to loose it. That's a good quality to have, and shows you have self respect. Don't try rushing things because you might end up giving your virginity to someone you regret giving it to.

nothing bad about it. I make it similar

play with your self its normal rather to lose your virginity..touch you self explore, use your finger touch your **** untill you wet and ******...contact me i have a similar story to tell you.

Take notice of the quiet ones. We might actually care

I agree with Chigeko, you should learn how to pleasure yourself or get a close girlfriend to help you.

I play with myself all the time, both with my fingers and a small vibrator. It gives me great pleasure and relieves the tension, even though I've never achieved ******. <br />
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I still consider myself a virgin and will until a man gets inside me. That won't happen until I'm married.<br />
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You better get those fingers working before you drive yourself crazy. LOL