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Virgin For Life

I think of myself as a simple person with tons of interests. I am a person who likes to write, read, and study. My favorite music genres are classical, jazz, and R&B (sometimes). I am also into things like sports, and video games as well. I go to college as of right now so that I can achieve my career. Those things aren't complicated for people, but this one thing seems to blow people's minds completely. I am a 20 year old virgin who is wanting to stay a virgin for the rest of my life.People because of that say that I'm crazy. So I often have to go further and give my story like this:

I'm a virgin in every sense of the word. I have not kissed anyone (not really wanting to) or even hugged anyone except my family members and a few friends. I've never had a girlfriend (obviously) and I'm not really looking to have one because I don't care to have a romantic relationship. I would much rather just be friends with someone. I would rather be friends than have a girlfriend or wife because friendship is usually a non-sexual thing, while in dating, there is an expectation of sex or deep passion, which is something I don't want at all. That doesn't say that I wouldn't want a relationship at all. I would only want one that is completely platonic/non-sexual.

As for what inspires my decision, I would have to say that there are three main things. The first would be career. I am really career-focused and want to have a great work life and do the many things I love, like music and poetry, at the same time. I think that inspires me first. The second is my faith. I am a Christian (non-denominational) and I am pretty religious. But it doesn't inspire my decision as much as my career does. And the third and final one is just apathy. I don't care to have a relationship because I am happy with myself and with my friendships. And I guess I think that I would much rather be a good friend rather than be a good lover/sex partner.

My people closest to me have been up in arms over it. My family has been up in arms a bit over it.I've already told my parents about my plans for a sexless future, and I think there are okay with it for now because they think it is some phase I'm just going through. I think that secretly they want grandchildren. They quietly speak of it. But that is okay. i can deal with it. But when I tell my friends that I never want to have sex or have never dated, they seem to get upset because they want for me to continue the family and that I should be dating like everyone else is. I really feel that they feel my decision is abnormal and that I must be "sexually repressed" or whatever. They often make fun of me and call me a prude and say that I should be going out, partying, and getting on "that". Whatever "that" is.

It's a lot of pressure being around them, to be honest.They are just so thickheaded. They make it rough for me. They always try to set me up on dates with someone and I always say no because I am just not interested and am happy with myself. And then whenever I say no, they make fun of me even harder. And when I tell them to stop it, they keep going. It's rough.

And that's really all I have to say. I just feel as if I would be just fine if I was a virgin forever, but apparently everyone around me isn't. When I tell them that I want to be a virgin forever, they think I am crazy and am doing something unnatural. But I guess that I like being unnatural. What do you think? Am I abnormal or unnatural?
tyc113 tyc113 18-21 3 Responses Jan 9, 2011

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It sounds weird that your libido should practically be unexisting. But I don't think one can define what normal is. I mean how big a percentage of people have to do something before it can be considered normal? I think thinking in terms of abnormal is mostly just bs. And we can't really say anything about what's natural for humans anymore, since we, as opposed to other species, define and create our own nature. So just go with what you feel like man. I have a feeling that your point of view will change as you get older, but that's not important for now. I'm a 22-year-old virgin myself. Not sure why (I don't really wanna be), but I absolutely love doing things by myself or with my friends, so I get what you're saying.

To answer your question, I hardly ever get aroused. I really don't feel any desire to have sex or anything like that.

I am in the same boat as you, almost 22, purely virginal etc., except for the part of "never" wanting to do it. I would want to, just out of sheer curiosity, if for no other reason.<br />
I think it's great if you can feel fulfilled and keep yourself busy without needing an intimate partnership, and all that. But are you saying you never get horny? lol