I'm A 41 Year Old Virgin So Bite Me.

Yip, I'm a 41 year old virgin. Is it because I'm waiting until I'm married? No. Is it because I'm gay? It's not illegal where I live nor is it socially unacceptable with the circles I hang out with but the answer is no. Is it because I'm shy around females? I tend to be shy. Period. Is it because I want to be? Hell, no! The reason why I am a virgin is because I'm boring, ugly and poor. And totally inexperienced with the opposite sex to the point it's embarrassing. There I've said it.
millimi millimi
41-45, M
13 Responses Aug 13, 2011

Hi, I'm working on a wonderful project about couples who haven't done IT yet, for whatever reason. We're working with the best relationship therapists in the country. Please message me for more details.

About a couple of months ago my best friend suggested I have sex with his girlfriend in what could be called "Just Get It Over And Done With It" sex but I turned him down. Apart from the awkwardness of it all and not finding his girlfriend even remotely attractive I felt like it was one step short of prostitution. If I wanted sex with a prostitute or in any situation similar to prostitution I would've gone to a prostitute years ago (in New Zealand it is legal and conidered a strictly private matter). It is annoying when people try to set me up with a date or a one night stand because they equate being a virgin with being desperate. Sheesh... give me a break!

I feel your pain my friend. I'm young and i hate that I'm surrounded by all these people talking bout their sex life like its nothing. Sucks but f*** it. Lol. Stay strong there buddy. We all are going to find that one.

I'm a female 33 year old virgin and it's been easy to stay that way because I've never felt excited with any of the men I've dated. I get more excited with my electric toothbrush on the ****. What's wrong with me?!

I am 33 and still virgin. Very less likely I ever engage in a relationship to be honest with this society.

Hey, I'm 25 and am still a virgin myself. So, you're not alone. And you are not the only who is "totally inexperienced with the opposite sex". *Raises hand high* I am too (except when I have to had to go on interviews where the person interviewing is male); in fact, I have never been on a first date or have had my first kiss.

Women don't want to go out with virgins or marry them. I might be able to sleep well at night knowing that I haven't slept around with a small army of women or got someone pregnant but the feeling of moral superiority wears thin very quickly when it seems like that every time I meet a woman I only seem to be able to stay within the accursed "friends" zone or put them off altogether. Not being a man-***** is like having a liberal arts university degree: great for feeling good about myself but a liability in the greater scheme of things.

That's not true with every women. Some would love to have a boyfriend who's a Virgin or wished they were. For example I would love to so much rather have a boyfriend who is a Virgin knowing he hasn't been with anyone rather than a guy who's been with a number of girls.

You are better than those guys that sleep around. Who would a good woman rather marry, a virgin or a man-*****? What do you think? I am proud of you for being a virgin and stay that way until you find a loving woman.

that's the w h * r e word I wrote and they x'ed out.

I'm a 41 year old virgin female, and I too, am under the same impression about men--that they only want women who are pretty, interesting, and experienced. I do great living solo and I'm unbelievably shy and intimidated around men whom I fancy; never dated nor ever been kissed for that matter. I was a victim of sexual harassment, by a handful of idiots from my graduating class, which has left deep emotional scars, to my already low self esteem. I come from a stable, very sheltered home, probably because I'm so vulnerable. So, I've concluded that there is no one out there for me. No sleep lost over it, though.

Can relate to your story, lampert, I too am 41 and a virgin, never had a boyfriend. I'm pretty shy and also insecure as well, quite a few people think I'm stupid and boring, and when I was growing up I wasn't great looking - I was the school ugly girl up to a point. I'm better looking now but I'm still not comfortable with coming onto anyone. I feel a little like I've been left behind, as well. A couple of guys who've seemed attracted to me I just haven't been able to strike up relationships with (and it shouldn't be that hard). I can still be happy on my own, even though I might have to work a little harder at it. I'd like people to know, though, how easy it is. If you met me, I wouldn't jump out as being a freak, just a normal person. So there are people out there who are the same as you.

I appreciate all of the information shared regarding virginity & feel much better knowing that I am not alone. I am a 33 year old Virgin & am to insecure to mentally or physically open up to anyone. I believe it has a lot to do with being molested by my uncle & cousins when I was younger. I've been told many times that I am pretty w/a good figure & could even be a model....also guys stare all of the time....is there something wrong w/me for not liking this type of attention? I hope that some day I can change & meet someone to change the way I feel. Thanks for listening & sharing your personal stories :)

Screw the media trying to portray you as less of a man than you are. You're not a man if you have sex or not, you're a man because you admit your faults and from there are willing to move on from them. <br />
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So you're a shy guy? Cool. Many shy women out there, too. You think you're ugly? That's your opinion. There are plenty of people looking for your look. Yup. Plenty....<br />
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How do I know? There's over 7+ billion people in the world.. and humans are DIVERSE by nature. I can guarantee you, you're lifestyle, looks, personality, etc are someone else's ideal out there. Even if they aren't yours .. (Not saying you shouldn't raise your standards, the truth is, you should have the standards you DESIRE first before finding a mate. But the first step is knowing your worth and not belittling yourself.)

AWWW and i thougth my life was bad, you made me sad , add me

dont feel bad. I was a 30 year old virgin. Sex and making love are not overrated but some people are! Good luck and Good ****!

;[ awwww dont feel that way. You really dont have to have sex at a certain age, thats what people want you to believe, but I do know that there is some others just as you, you just need to seek em out. besides sex really is overrated so dont beat yourself up my friend! <br />~SM