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Is It A Big Deal

i'm 15 and i'm a virgin but some of my friends aren't and it makes me think sometimes..... For some reason people don't believe i'm a virgin :( but only cause i know what do in bed ;) oh yha lol and i'm a huge flirt so it doesn't help but i'm am very pure in that area and i don't know why i can be smart in that case .

Any how my friend and i have talked about it he thinks it's important along with a couple of others while my other friends say its not and i'm pretty sure he'd kill the guy to do it but i don't really care is losing your virginity really that important? i mean most people don't end up with that person so what's the big idea. i also think he thinks it's important because he lost it young and he regrets it. so do you guys think it's REALLY a big deal?
Anicia47 Anicia47 16-17, F 12 Responses Jun 24, 2012

Your Response


Personally I say have sex when you're ready. When I was in high school I wanted to "save myself" for my future wife because I thought that was all romantic and everything. Now in college I've learned that girls usually think that's pretty stupid and all. So if you're ready then go ahead.. If you're not them absolutely wait!

lol I did think I was ready. and I think I was just not ready with that person...

Then wait! You'll know when you're ready with the right person!

I don't think it's s big deal ... But, and it's a big but, don't mistreat yourself because you are the one who had to carry the can if things go part shaped ... When you know all the risks and are willing to accept them, then maybe ... But wait for someone who will respect you OK?

yeah I know that, its hard when you 15 to remember these things... when your fresh in high school and older and guys your age start coming. I wish I knew then... but I'm glad because I know now.

I think you have a good head on your shoulders .. Enjoy your life

thanks :) you too

Thanks :)

1 More Response

It's not realistic that people wait til marriage today. Just not part of our culture. But if you can, then do. It will mean more. If not, at least make tge first time meaningful. Mine was like a bad **** lol. Coulda been better

Yes, it's a lot better to save yourself for your future husband. Having multiple partners can be traumatic as well as unsafe, and a lot of people end up with multiple partners (one at a time) when they don't think it's a big deal.

yeah I know. I know ill find the right person one day

For me it was a big deal. I wanted to save myself for the right person who loved me and for when when I felt ready and mature enough for sex. I even thought about holding off until marriage but who knows if I would have lasted that long.

Basically, I lost my virginity to my first "boyfriend" when I was 18. He was older than me and had a bad boy thing I was drawn to and the first person I ever was ever intimate with. It was a HUGE mistake getting involved with him. I told him I wasn't ready and he basically slipped it in (he was kinda small) and later defended himself by saying he thought I wanted it. I had clearly told him multiple times I was saving myself for the right person. Although it wasn't violent or painful I felt raped by him as I avoided eye contact and tried to understand all the pain and emotions I felt in that moment having something so precious taken from me. I went spiraling into depression, became very self-destructive by taking drugs to numb the pain and having meaningless sex with many strangers. Trusting someone with that who clearly didn't have my best interest in mind is my biggest life regret. Please don't listen to your peers. When your with the right person who loves and respects you it will feel right and you will know you are ready.

your really young still. there is a lot more people than u think who never do anything untill they are adults

i know i've met so many now and hearing their stories made me think different about everything

well thats good ^_^

Big deal to lose virginity...i don't think that way as everyone pick whatever make them feel losing it or still having it so it is there and you ever heard that some girls and women even while been like no more virgin but still have a tide deep down as no matter how many they sleep with...they remain so tide down it is not a big deal at all.

:) you've been very helpful and understanding to me today, thank you a lot

Thanks and and your welcome as i always know how it feels and always get pretty into deep of everything i read...wish you the best always.

thank you ! :) and i can tell

I'm similar to you, some of my friends don't think I'm a virgin just because I have a boyfriend. But all those friends aren't virgins anymore. I tell them I'm still a virgin and they act like it's a huge deal. But really, I don't want to deal with the fact that I might be pregnant because the condom might have broken. Me being a huge flirt with my boyfriend and some unintentional other encounters (he knows I don't mean to do it) makes my case harder and harder to prove to those friends. But as to whether losing your virginity, it's a big deal to some people, but to others it isn't. Honestly, I think it is, but only if you do it with the right person for the right reasons. It's also a big deal because it calls for careful planning, mostly because of how much restraint a guy would need to demonstrate for it to be pleasurable for both people....okay now even I'm doubting my virginity XD

Lol yeah, I think it's important but only sometimes .

I agree with others,.. stay chaste,,, and dont give in to peer pressure, as it will be all around you ,, trust me on that! you will be happy to have taken out advice in here ............ be good , talk to u later .. :)

lol thank u i agree too

I waited until 26. Truthfully, it's a personal decision for every person. I waited until I met someone I loved & she was a virgin as well. It made it more special for us (although her getting pregnant wasn't exactly planned), but as with everything else your mileage may vary. If it is important to you, then keep on and ignore all the peer advice which mostly is useless anyway.

i agree peers advice is usually bad and i do believe that i should wait ..i'm not sure if i believe it's a big deal but i know i want to wait

Virginity is ultimately not a big deal. Its a piece of tissue that can go away if you ride too many bicycles. The big deal is not the virginity, its all the things that you have to consider about sex and those can be a big deal whether you are a virgin or not. So many people treat sex lightly but for your health and your emotional well being I think its important to be picky and choosy. Its not about religion or virginity itself, its really about making good choices for yourself and to me thats a big deal no matter how many partners you've had.

Losing your hymen is not losing your virginity :)

i am a virgin. im 20. Its both a big deal and not a big one at all. Doing sexual things can be fun but its more fun if you truly care about the person. Im not a big believer in the whole, "its a magical gift you can give only once" thing. Im also not saving it for marriage. Im saving it for love and trust. I want my first time to comfortable. I want to trust the person to be kind to me and I dont want to be left worrying about pregnancy or stds or that the person is gonna walk away once they get it. i figure im worth waiting for and you are too. Having sex just because other people think you should is not a good way to live. Be true to yourself and dont cave into pressure to do things before you are ready for them. Because there are consequences to having sex and you have to think about those too before you rush off to get rid of that virginity. <br />
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Flirting is fun and it doesnt harm anyone. No one ever believes im a virgin either (especially not other girls) but who cares if they believe you? You know who and what you are. Being a virgin doesnt mean you dont want sex. it doesnt mean you arent flirty and that you dont like to have a good time. It just means you are waiting for the moment to be right. <br />
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Good luck!

yes i do enjoy doing those fun things so i agree about that and i too am not that type of girl but i also want my first time to feel comfortable and right. so i think it is important thing to wait but it's also not going to be rainbows and cupcakes that much i know

nope not all rainbows and cupcakes. Sometimes its really difficult and you'll get lots of pressure to cave into someone else's desires but no one gets a say in your body. Only you. I had a boyfriend who pressured me for two years. I broke up with him and Im still a virgin. I didnt need all that pressure. It stressed me out. I say learn to be a mule and dig your heels in until you meet the person that makes you WANT to chuck off your mary janes and share something special.

Its like you can have fast food and it taste good for a moment and you'll regret later or you can wait and have a lovely steak dinner that will taste good and wont make you sick to your stomach. Sometimes the anticipation may get to you and you'll want to cave and have junk but you wont be satisfied :)

hmm i like the way u put thank u really cause it's not something u ask u'r parents no matter how close to them u r so it means a lot to hear it from someone actually experiencing it

Im glad i could help! Good luck!


2 More Responses

Hi sweetheart !! You can still be good at everything else and keep your virginity. You are 15 years old and it is the only gift you can give ONLY once to the man of your dreams. So I say keep it !! And always remember throughout your life when a man really loves you he will act EXACTLY how a woman acts when she is in love. He will worry about you, call you all the time,dote on you, want to protect you and treat you like a little princess ALL the time. Good luck :D

your right i want to meet someone who will treat me like a man who will treat me like a princess and mean it so i think u'r right and i should keep it