Just Turned 19

It's hard to not be a virgin, honestly. All of the boyfriends I've had have been creeps who only wanted me for sex and pushed me when I obviously wasn't ready. One guy kept asking about sex after only two days of talking to each other. When I thought about having sex I said he had to wear a condom and he got whiny about it. Anyway. People don't want to date me, and I don't want to have loose sex. I'm not going to do it with someone after only a few weeks of being with each other, maybe even a few months. A few of my friends have already had sex and it's kind of awkward to realize that they lost their virginity by sixteen and here I am, turning twenty in a year and I've never done it. Of course I was very close to losing my virginity but I was in a highly uncomfortable position and I felt my heart breaking as I realized that I would have to lie to all of my friends. I made him stop and I left the apartment. I regret it now so much because I feel like an awful person. How could I let someone coerse me into losing something so important? I had always told myself I was a person who would wait until the right someone came along, be it a boy or a girl, and then I go and do that. Looking back on it it doesn't make me a better person. I'm for the worse now, not the better. In fact a few days ago I was talking about this topic with a couple of female coworkers and I casually said, "Says who?" when one was like, "No ones a virgin!" They laughed and were like, "Says Americans!" I felt so humiliated because here I was, an outcast already, and I was a virgin. I felt horrible and wanted to hide. My manager constantly talks about how awesome sex feels and how it's nothing to be ashamed of but I'm ashamed of it? Anyway. I'm a little sad that I am and I'm lonely. I want what other people have. I want a relationship with a person who wants to really get to know me before doing the nitty-gritty.
DemonVampire180 DemonVampire180
18-21, F
11 Responses Dec 1, 2012

There is nothing shameful in coveting your virginity until the right person comes along. I would not allow myself to be humiliated by others judgements. I lost mine at 22 to my partner of 30 years and have no regrets.

don't every feel bad about what u want and believe.. go with what feels right for you

If it makes you feel any better. I am 20 now and although my repression leads me to think about sex anand girls a lot. I still wouldn't want to have sex with just anyone. It would take a while for me to get intimate with anyone. Hang in there I guess. Although I would also say it won't be a special magical moment I imagine and it won't be all its cracked up to be.

It's great that you didn't gave in to pressure. He got to work hard for something valuable.

I lost my virginity when I was 18, and to be honest sex does not feel that amazing. It does to guys, because, well...they're guys. It's so sad how obsessed this world is with sex, but there are guys out there who want to find a girl who hasn't just opened her legs to every Tom, ****, and Harry (no pun intended.) Look at it this way. When your friends come to you saying they just caught herpes, got pregnant, or got used and dumped by some pathetic excuse for a man, will you be sad you have your virginity? And all they have is a disease? Being a virgin is very special. Hold on to what you have and wait for the right man. :)

Well,
1- you are just 19, why would you consider that "old enough to just tr sex with anyone and not dying a virgin" !!
2- if all people are about to do something stupid, should you just do it so you won't feel outcast .. you shouldn't let how the wrong concepts being spread and popularized affect you, and remember " stupidity is contagious"
3- why would people be so happy and proud of "losing" something .. especially when it's something never regained, if technology or medicine made it possible at the physical level, it would be mentally impossible
4- from an experience, waiting means longing, and longing makes your heart beats like crazy and brain feel nuts when you finally meet the thing you ve been waiting for.. but if you are to let all the longing go to waste for someone /thing not worthy of it ... it's an everlasting misery of sense of loss .. don't make sex always remind of you painful memories ... wait for the right person.
5- society is never satisfied with you, whatever you do .. too much sex, you are a **** .. being virgin, you are an outcast to the horny society ... a little sex now and then, you have too high standards, who do you think you are .. you dating more, what a horny lady, why she doesn't get a gang bang or something .. believe me when I say this, if you are not ever gonna make them happy, at least make your self.

oh, btw .. I am a guy .. and to be honest, guys just like sex especially involving virgins, it's like claiming new lands, sorry for the example ladies out there, .. but I decided to neglect my guy code tonight and give you a sincere advice :)

looking back at my first sexual encounter i kinda wish i had your mindset i mean drunk sex with a girl im never talkin to again isnt exactly romantic in any way... plus i think it makes a girl special i mean sloots a whoores are a dime a dozen but a girl that waits for that special someone is worth all the work to get her.

Stay true to youself and dont give in...my boyfried just dumped me bacause i wouldnt sleep with him because i want to stay a virgin. Im 18 Btw. These stories have really helped me know there are plenty like me.

Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Im 22 and at work when sex came up I mentioned that I was a virgin... Sure there was that awkwordness and I simply stated with confidence that I was waiting for the right person. The guys there respected my decision and if they didnt... o well. screw them. Now I cant tell you to stick to it if it is making you feel this way... but honestly just be true to yourself. Everyone in this world is diffrent and everyone has opinions about stuff. Not everyone will agree with you, that is what I have learned.

But honestly I do understand how you feel. I told a preacher back when I was 21 that I was a virgin and you know what he did? He laughed at me... he laughed in my face... and then questioned my sexuality. I had never been so insulted in my life, but I got over it. That guy was honestly pathetic, and because he was down he tried to put me down and a man of his position should have been uplifting me instead of putting me down like that. But in the end, it all comes down to you. because the decision is yours, and you are the one who has to live with the consequinces, not others who try to tell you to do it their way.

Thats my 2 cents. not proof reading because im too lazy to do so.... yeah. I hope you feel better~ ^_^

I waited till I found the perfect person, and I have never regretted it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just ignore society and their standards, they're not right about much anyway.

stay true to yourself. Guys will do that stuff... again and again.. You do what feels right for you