Waiting For The Right Person Is A Lonely Road

I am a 23 year old female virgin with no one to relate to. I've been blessed with awesome friends who love me and support my decision, but they can't share my feelings. They always tell me how wonderful, amazing, and unbelievable it is that I've been able to wait all these years. It's funny because I've been in three serious relationships with guys who genuinely loved me and was willing to wait, but I didn't feel that any of them were God's intended for me. Yes, I am a Christian. I love The Lord and I try to stay true to Him, but I am no perfect angel. In terms of sexual experiences, I can't say that I am innocent. Although I haven't technically had sex, I've done other sexual things in my previous relationships. It feels so juvenile to not have gone all the way, but I just couldn't bring myself to that point outside the benefits of marriage. I know it sounds crazy and unfair because I've set a limit in the past, but in my heart it was okay. Guys want all or nothing and its not fair for me to pick and choose, I suppose. I'm getting off track here, but the reason I joined this group was to seek support for my decisions. Again my friends think its amazing but it just gets so dang lonely to have no one to relate. Two of my very best friends are also Christians. One is married and the other is single like me. I've never had a Christian friend (or any friend for that matter) that was "normal", not socially awkward an was a virgin!! It was a very unexpected comfort. We could rely on each other and completely relate to one another, but she lost her virginity to this guy she was somewhat hanging out with, who she met a bar. When she told us, I remember feeling more alone than I've ever felt in my life. I didn't judge her because like I said all of my friends have had sex and plus I go out with them all the time and have met guys at bars. I even dated a guy I met at a bar and needless to say it didn't work out. It just hurt because I felt that sacred bond was broken. Since then, she has not spoken to him or have sex with anyone else but she acts like a secret weight has been lifted off her shoulders. I know what that weight is because I still bear it. She regrets it and all that, but I have no one again. It sounds so selfish of me, but it would be nice to have friends that actually know what I'm going through rather than continuously tell me how great it is that I'm waiting when they're not. Also, they're trying to encourage me to not be so serious and have fun. Well I am a year older than these girls and I just feel like I've gotten all the "part girl" out of my system. See, I told y'all I was no choir girl, but I'm trying to get closer to God again and make better choices. How I've kept my virginity I have to give God the credit because I have no idea! It's hard not to give in, but I've always been the kind of person who looks at the light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting for my husband on our wedding night is a very sacred and special thing to me because it'll be me saying to my husband that he can always trust me and I am always going to be his now and forever. To me, that is the freaking sexiest thing a woman could ever do for her man. I haven't met him yet, which makes this waiting a very lonely time. I don't expect to find friends who are virgins, even in church groups, because I know there just aren't any haha! Sex is a very powerful thing and terribly difficult to resist, even to some of the best Christian people I know. It would just be nice to have someone say "oh yeah me too!" :)
EB0289 EB0289
22-25, F
5 Responses Dec 13, 2012

the right guy will show up at some point

cheer up - there are plenty of people like you who have made this commitment. It is a bit of a lonely path because society makes you feel like some kind of wierdo - I love this board because it gave me a chance to express how I feel about virginity -see http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-A-Virgin/2749351
you absolutely wont regret it.....

Let me say I totally understand where you are coming from. I am 38 years old, I'm a Christian, and I'm still saving myself for marriage. It does get very lonely waiting for the right one, but I've always said, if there be such a creature as the right one, She's worth waiting as long as it takes. I know how you feel having no friends that can truly relate to you. I myself have a circle of friends both in and out of church, most of which say the same thing about me, that it is amazing I've saved myself as long as I have, but none can say the same about themselves. Like you, I dont judge them, because I've had opportunities and I know what temptation is, but very few people can relate to what we truly feel. Just wanted you to know you're not alone :)

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It's nice to know there are more people out there waiting. I don't feel as alone anymore. Thanks:)

I on the other hand am not a virgin... looking back, i honestly still wish i was though in a way. believe me when you hear this, after having sex with someone, makes the breaking up process a lot harder. i am no man *****, and i do wait a while until it feels right or that we are ready to take that next step until we would have sex because it is something very deep and very special between two people. or at least it should, but there are a lot of people who don't think that way anymore. and i got my heart ripped out a couple of times. so in my opinion hang on to what you have, because if i was with a girl like you i would wait as well. it makes it that more special in the end.

hi , really interesting , I am not christian and yet I 26 and virgin and dont know for how long will I be liek that , but i am sure when i find the right women in my life whose going tobe mother of my children , i will do , stay where you are , be unique an distinctive among others , when right times comes do it with right man