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Culturally, I guess your gender is a factor. I see that other commentors assumed you were male, where I assumed you were female - not that I really had any reason to assume one way or the other. I know for me, I was self conscious but not shy, and because I struggled with my weight growing up, I never saw myself as attractive, even at times in my life when I was at a normal weight. I felt similar to the way you describe before I met my now husband, but that's my story, and we are all individuals. I would be foolish to give you advice, knowing so little about you.

One thing I will say is that you are both right and wrong about the idea that the only person who can do something about it is you. You are the only one who can change your own behavior, but don't be too hard on yourself because your behavior isn't the only factor. For me, in many big decisions, defining my own goals really helps me determine how to change my behavior. If you want to experience sex, with or without a meaningful relationship - that's a totally different situation than choosing to find a partner with whom you can cultivate a meaningful relationship which might include sex.

Good luck to you in knowing your own heart and mind - and allowing yourself to be open to whatever takes you toward that.

A woman was in her 40's before she found a man who loved her. This woman had followed her dreams & this man adored her, & loved her, & she loved him, til they grew old & died.
I'm sure you don't want to lose it just to lose it. You could if you wanted. But maybe following your dreams will lead you, or lead someone to you, who will be your one. Live comes in unexpected places & in unexpected forms. Open up to it & embrace it.

Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say, It doesn't start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday. i need a friend like you

I'm quite a bit older than you, and also still a Virgin. I have no religious reason either, since I'm not especially religious. There are quite a number of us out there. I'm lacking in the self confidence department and fully realize that I'm my own worst enemy in the companionship arena. I'm working to change this, day by day. There are days I too feel like my issue is a personality disorder (I'm shy around girls/women) but I don't think either of us should go there: I'm often just at a loss for words to "get the party started". Good luck on your Journey.

Would you accept to be my Friend Please

I'm a 20 year old virgin and feel near the same way.
I've highly considered devoting my life to pure science just to make things a bit easier.
Not sure what advice to give, but man I may be years behind but I'm right there with you.