I Had a Child Without Giving Up My Virginity
Although I'm not opposed to sex before marriage, I do not want to have sex with anyone with whom I do not feel a deep connection and commitment. I didn't date in high school and barely dated in college and I found it harder and harder to date as I got older, so I focused on my career and traveled and generally had a pretty great life. But I wanted kids, so in my late '20s I joined a dating service.
I dated some nice guys, but realized I was really only looking for someone to give me a child, so I stopped dating. I started the adoption process. After a couple of years and a lot of road bumps I started to seriously consider having a child on my own. I was worried about whether I could handle the emotions of being pregnant and giving birth without a partner to share it all with and support me. I knew I would be sad about that part of my dream not being fulfilled. But I also knew I wanted the physical experience of pregnancy and birth. I have my whole life to get married, but a limited time to have a child. With the support of many friends, I decided to do it.
So, at 35 I got pregnant from an anonymous ***** donor and am the proud mother of a beautiful little boy.
Having this experience has been sexually validating in a way that I did not expect. I feel like conceiving my child was an ultimate act of the love I feel for myself.
I still hope that I will meet a man and form that deep and commited relationship I have been looking for. I'm glad I did not compromise my virginity to become a mother. And I'm grateful I didn't have to miss out on motherhood.