23 Year Old Virgin

When  I was 16 yrs. old I had my first opportunity to lose my virginity.  I was so young and naive I thought the best thing for me to do was wait and decided not to.  I've always been a late bloomer so I thought this as everything else would work itself out through time; withought forcing or pushing.  I never thought I would end up being a virgin at 23yrs. old.  Although, I don't feel ashamed by it ever since I turned 22 I've been feeling a lot of pressure; partly from my peers but also from myself.  I often feel like I am THE ONLY virgin in this world! What started as something prideful and sacred has started to become something of a __________.  I just got out of a relationship and lied about not being a virgin.  I feel that I am going to scare guys away once they know I am one or they'll stick around for the wrong reasons.  I don't know what to do.  I am not waiting to have sex until I get married; I just want to be with a partner who understands me and so far my virginity has scared away 2 guys.   I know you shouldn't sleep with a guy unless you feel comfortable to tell him the truth, but it is SO hard to say to a 23 yr. old guy "I'm a virgin."  I know this sounds really bad,  but I don't want to turn 24 being one.  I'm not trying to lose it to the first guy who comes my way either, but I am so stressed.  I don't know what to do.  Which brings me to joining this chat room; I really need to talk to someone who is a virgin and understands what I am going through.  HELP!
Pau Pau
22-25, F
8 Responses Jun 30, 2007

hats off to you woman! this is something you should be incredibly proud about. I'm 21, and still a virgin by choice. i do agree that it gets harder and harder as you get older. people make judgements of all sorts, but don't let it get to you. you still have something that many people don't. sometimes i feel like if i had lost it ages ago, then perhaps i wouldn't be so hesitant to jump into relationships. but such is life. I'm sure you will find someone that loves you for what you are. :) best wishes xx

Don't worry about your age and losing your virginity. I am 43 and still a virgin. Do I wish I wasn't a virgin? Sometimes. Am I proud that I am? Sure. What do I have to show for it? No STD's, no AIDS. I believe in staying pure until I find someone who I really want to be with. I don't want regrets, even now, at my age. Stay proud of yourself, and let it happen in it's own time.

I wish I could help but don;t know what to say cuz I never had any chances to lose it! I was not waiting for my husband, although 2 close friends and my aunt got up and told the whole reception hall this last week, still can;t figure out why; but anyway good luck living out those magical 20's.

Well I can honestly tell you as a 29 yr old virgin male, that if you told me you were a virgin I would be the happiest man alive. I would really like to lose my virginity to a virgin, be they are really hard to find.

I am not a virgin, but didn't lose mine until fairly late. If you'd like some points of advice, particularly from the male perspective, feel free to drop me a private msg.

oh pau, please do not worry so! my best friend is still a virgin at the age of 26. i respect her incredibly much for it and wish i had the willpower to wait. if you loose it to the wrong person you wouldn't be happy at all. don't think you are the only one. you will know who is the right guy!

Nothing wrong with retianing your virginity. When I met my wife she was 22 and still a virgin (didn't stay that way for long). I respected her and we did it when she was ready. 11 years later we are still together.

Hi Pau,<br />
You are not a freak. You are definitely *not* the only one. A good friend of mine, with whom I lost touch, struggled with this as well, and she was older than you. There was absolutely nothing "wrong" with her-she was gorgeous and interesting-the whole 9; she certainly had opps but didn't want to compromise her integrity. I respected her for it, but she did get some **** for it too. I often wondered if it were jealousy. A lot of women regret their first, and I think you're respecting yourself. That's cool. Those two guys weren't right for you and I'm glad you didn't sleep with them just to "get it over with." When you find the right person, he'll wait for you. I was 22, and I'll never forget it. I remember every detail. We were madly in love, and took a taxi to the store in the middle of the night (for condoms, and some random items, lol) during a blinding snowstorm. I cherish the memory, all these years later. <br />
You'll know when it's right. I know there's pressure, but stand your ground. The right guy is out there, and this shouldn't be a chore or a burden.<br />
Peace,<br />
~Em