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I am a 44 year old virgin....(no intercourse) I have mixed feelings. My parents taught me to fear and not trust boys/men. I got very negative messages. Unfortunately I still have this fear of intimacy and am afraid no man will want to be with me if they know the truth. I want to change this way of being. I am working on developing healthier relationships...but it still scares the **** out of me.
MidnightAngel45 MidnightAngel45 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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I kinda know how you feel. I was brought up with a fear of guys/men .. and my ma said to me specifically that i should not do anything that will cause me to get pregnant outside of marriage.. otherwise she will have a fit and need to move away or something...

Now, its not easy at all to find someone to do it with. I have certain expectations and I am highly concerned about things like not getting STDs.. and all that.. cos my ma will have a fit too... and this really sucks... cos not too many men I have encountered are too particular about cleanliness, health and protection.... when it comes to sex... I am terribly particular... I don't see why it is that I have these high standards of health, wellness and protection and I have to do it with a guy who doesn't share my standards or views...

It is your choice but that wouldn't be what I need.

Personally I like women with experience.

I guess your maternal instincts didn't help then, sorry to hear you are missing one of lives free pleasures, for me I am in permitted virginity state, but that was my choice and I am very happy, for you if this is something you wish to overcome I would seek doctors helps as it is only a mental health not physical, please let us know how this work out

I wish you well and hope you find a way soon and find someone

have you though about trying to date a much younger guy? like about 10 to 15 years younger

15 years would be too much of an age gap for a long-term relationship. Maybe for some kind of a short term fun type of relationship.

for you dating a guy in their late 20's and early 30's might be a little of a long stretch to try to date?

the younger person that i dated before was about 6 years younger then me.

I like to go 5 years either way. It is very hard to meet men in my age group because they want they do not tend to want women within their age group.

Probably. I would prefer someone closer to my age. I guess it would not hurt to date a 30 year old but I find many men in that age group prefer younger women.

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