I hate resolutions, I really do. I hate when people ask you what your New Year's resolution is, how are you going to "better" yourself for the upcoming year. I know that many other people also scoff at the very notion of a "resolution" as though you have to wait until Jan 1 to start making your life better, as though the months before were merely used for careful planning. However, circumstances are such that I'm forced to bend to the will of my libido and self-esteem and risk becoming a hypocrite. My resolution, nay, my mission, my quest, hell, my very purpose for existing this year is to finally lose my virginity. I've had it, really. I just can't go another year feeling worthless, unworthy, undesirable and generally untouched as I have the other 25 friggin' years of my life. I don't care. I don't care if I don't "care" about the other person or they don't care about me. I don't care if I'm in a committed relationship. I don't care if it's with some drunken ***** at the local club looking to make a "man" out of some poor shlub. ****, at this point I don't really care if I have to pay for it. What does it matter? Any trace of self-respect or pride that I may have hung onto until Dec 31 has vanished like a piece of tissue paper in the wind. How long am I supposed to wait, huh? What if the "right"person never comes along? What, am I just supposed to wear my virginity as a badge of honor until I'm 70 years old? **** that. It's not a badge of honor, it's a scarlet letter, a giant V blazoned across my very being. Will I feel better about losing it to whomever? Probably not. I'm not stupid enough to think that all my problems will be solved if I get to **** somebody. But that's not the point. The point is I want to **** somebody nonetheless. I'm through sugar-coating it.