"Im a Vision Untamed"

i have all these ideas and visions of who i want to be, how i want to be, how giving i want to be, things i want to do for people, but many of these things do not eventuate, i just can't seem to follow through, a big part of me is not myself, i'm lying to people about who i am, because i have felt the need to do it, because they assume this of me, and i do not have the heart to tell them i am not, but by doing so, i am pretending to be who they love. so i will never know if they would have a relationship with the real me. i'm a sad existence.

i cannot express this to people, even my psychologist, because whenever i am around people, i go into 'cheerful' 'funloving' mode, so i can never have these issues dealt with.

xox

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18-21, F
Jan 21, 2007