I Was Just A Little Girl And Curious, Now I'm Concerned
I was about nine when summertime came around, and it was so hot out all day long that I loved to sit by the pool or swim. We lived in a really nice condo complex, and everyone pretty much knew everyone else. There were always people out by the pool all day long, and my mom worked all day, so I tended to just swim and hang out all day long because there was always someone who was an adult friend who would also be there. When I was younger (like seven and eight) my mom wouldn't let me go to the pool unless she or my sister were there, but after two summers of knowing that everyone was trustworthy and would watch out for the kids, she told me it was OK to hang out at the pool as long as there were people we knew.
That first summer, this guy moved in a few houses from us who must have been on summer break from college or something. He was really athletic looking (tan, toned, six pack abs, muscular) and all the girls would drool over him (even at nine, I could totally tell that he was hot and I had a total crush on him). Anyhow, he would just sit by the pool and read or study or whatever, and would jump in every once in a while. He would pretty much ignore everyone else and just keep to himself, but he did talk to some people a few times and I remember a couple friends of ours at a BBQ saying that they thought he seemed like a nice guy.
Anyhow, one time when he was in the water swimming around, I was in there with my scuba mask on and swimming kind of close to him. He had on these baggy swimtrunks, and all of a sudden I could see EVERYTHING for a minute when his legs moved a certain way. At that age, I hadn't ever seen a guys parts before, so I was totally shocked. I guess it was like going past an accident on the highway, though, because I couldn't help but look and want to look more.
That summer ended, he moved out to go back to school or whatever, and I forgot about it. The school year went by and then it was summer again, and guess what - he moved back in again.
I saw him by the pool a few times, pretty much with the same routine as the year before - sitting and reading and tanning and keeping to himself. This time, though, he smiled at me one day and said hi and I just about tripped over myself. I said hi back, and that was about it as he went back to reading. But I kept looking over at him every once in a while and even though there were people around, he was sitting in a way where I could see up the leg of his shorts and he wasn't wearing any underwear and I could see EVERYTHING again. Looking back at it now, he must have known because he would always sit in a way that 'aimed' the view at me but not at the few other people around the pool and nobody else saw anything or there would have been instant gossip.
So that went on for a few days where I'd secretly catch glimpses of him whenever I could.
The next part is totally my fault because I got curious and climbed up into a tree fort the neighborhood kids built so I could see into the windows upstairs at his house. The tree was right next to his house, and I thought it would be fun to spy on him in his house. It's stupid, I know, but I was only ten and I had time on my hands and I thought I was being sneaky. It was around seven at night, and the sun was going down, and I was in the fort and then a light went on upstairs in his place. He didn't have curtains on his windows, and I could see him walk into his bedroom and close the door. He then started undressing and glanced out the window and saw me and my heart about stopped because I was totally busted. I ran down the wooden ladder from the fort and went home as calmly as I could hoping that he wouldn't call my mom and tell her that I was looking in his window.
The next day, he was at the pool again and I was afraid to go near him or look at him for over an hour, but finally swam over to his side of the pool and then back again. It was kind of 'boring' because I couldn't see anything and in a weird way I was a little disappointed. But, he paid no attention to me at all, so I figured that he must not have really seen me the nighht before and I was relieved.
A few nights later, I decided to climb up into the fort again. This time his lights were on already and he was already moving around his room putting laundry away or something. He then glanced my way briefly and I freaked out a little bit again thinking he saw me, but then he just went about his business and I figured he didn't see me. That's when something happened that shocked me. He stood in front of the window, kind of sideways to it, and started rubbing his **** area. He put his hands down his shorts, and was clearly doing something that I hadn't ever seen before. I thought he maybe had a bad itch or something, but this went on for about a minute. He then pulled his shorts down and his penis popped out and was standing straight up. I couldn't believe it - I had never seen anything like that before and didn't know what to think about it. He then started moving his hand up and down on his penis and now I know he was ************ - right in front of me! I didn't know what he was doing at the time, but for whatever reason I coudldn't get my eyes off of him and watched intently. That went on for about four or five minutes, and then he seemed to arch back a bit (now I know he orgasmed) and walked away and turned his lights off.
This kind of thing went on about two or three times a week but got weird. It almost became a routine for me to climb up into the fort and spy on him. Pretty soon, right after I'd climb up, he'd get in front of his window, look straight at me, and start rubbing himself. My heart would race - feeling guilty that I was watching, but also feeling like it was OK because I was outside in my fort, and he was inside his house. He would get totally naked in front of the window and rub up and down on his ****, massage his balls, and look straight at me. He'd ******, and then walk away and turn out the lights.
I felt totally freaked out but excited at the same time, and at the same time I couldn't get it out of my mind and I'm guilty to say that it really turned me on to watch him. That went on for most of the summer, we saw each other out by the pool lots of times, he never said a word to me, and then the summer was over.
I'm in college now, and after a talk I attended on human sexuality, I realize that he was clearly being an exhibitionist . I never really thought much about it, but that's what it was. What is kind of unnerving is how it has affected my sexual relationships with guys. I'm sure his ************ in front of the window is a reason that I get creeped out when a guy masturbates himself right in front of me when we're together, but for some reason, it really turns me on to think about seeing a guy ********** without them knowing I'm watching.