Perfection

Ever since I was little I've expected myself to be perfect at everything I do. The problem is, I'm never perfect and I always think I'm never good enough, I have self-esteem issues and can't interect well with people. I've always done well in school, exceptionally well, and I love reading but I just can't communicate well. I'm fifteen. My parents are worried about me, they force me to interect with people but I just can't. I feel like no one understands me, which is why I read. In books I can lose myself and I feel perfect. The fact that I'm a wallflower is just one more thing that is on my mind, one more thing that Im not perfect at. It's really all I want, to be perfect at everything I do. I started dancing when I was three ever since then, I've been pressured so much to be the best that I have started to believe that nothing less than perfection is good enough. I became so obsessed with perfection that I really don't know who I am anymore.
I'm a wallflower and I've never cared about that fact. I just want to be perfect at everything I do but the fact that I'd rather stay home practicing or reading is worrying my parents. I'm never good enough. Never. I'm never important, either, I'm just the girl who no one ever wants to talk to. I've learned to pretend I'm normal, to try and talk but I just can't do it anymore. Right now, my life seems so out of control that I don't even know who I am anymore...
MissCeciliaWallflower MissCeciliaWallflower
13-15, F
1 Response Sep 12, 2012

I understand. This describes me perfectly. I feel I need to be perfect when I rationally know it's impossible. I don't behave normally in social situations because I'm so focused on trying to do well.

From one wallflower to another, then.