An Introspection Of My Life

Recently I have been communicating with a lovely black woman who wants a relationship with white men. Mainly trying to tell her to be authentic, interesting, and signal interest [Many men are blind to body language to begin with.]

It has gotten me thinking about my feelings and my experience.  Here it is for what it is worth.

I grew up in Hamtramck, MI, in a family that was, under the surface, intolerant.  But, I was smart enough to decide early on that America hates the poor as much as it does people of color and that my economic status was not much different than any black I went to school with or met.  That defused a lot of knee-jerk attitudes for me.  But, that was the 50's  and there still was not much tolerance for interracial relationships and in Detroit there was white flight to the suburbs across 8 mile road (********! But, that's another story).

Then the 60's and puberty hit, with all that confusion and longing.  And I discovered Motown and around Christmas for many years would take the bus to the Fox Theater for the Motown Revue.  Beautiful black girls everywhere.  And, interacting with both white and black girls my age I sorta liked the no-**** attitude of the black girls working to get ahead rather than the entitled perspective of the white girls.  But, I was shy, and regardless of the attraction I had towards them, never approached one of those beautiful black young women.  It didn't help that for the most part interracial dating was uncommon and nearly scandalous.  The societal expectations and my shyness spelled doom for my feelings.

But with puberty, came other difficulties for me - I now know that I probably have had borderline aspergers - brilliant but with few social skills.  That caused me to shut down any thought of dating . . . any girl.  Yet, finally I had my "come to jesus" moment with the military and school, and trying to get a career started and I taught myself how to behave normally.  But by then it seemed too late to pursue my desire to have a relationship with a black woman and I also met my wife.

Fast forward and society is changing a bit.  Children of friends are enjoying interracial relationships and marriage as loving couples.  It seems like a breath of fresh air in that respect.  [But, I am still dismayed that the haters are still going nuts at Obama's election or we are still locking up young black men at an astounding rate for the flimsiest of excuses - wow, talk about kicking somebody when they are down.]  And, I start a discussion with a young woman who is dismayed that she desires a white man but only found one that was a bit cruel to her. 

Shy, she wonders about approaching guys.  My heart goes out to her, because while I missed the boat, with her there is going to be some lucky guy.  So I start looking to see what the sense of advice is and come across . Wow, common sense like getting a life, becoming interesting, assessing compatibility and so on.  But written for black women attracted to white men.

This makes me happy because it is a wonderful change.  There were no such resources when I felt attracted to black women and was stumbling around in ignorance.

To all you white guys that are attracted to women of color and the women who are attracted to us my heartfelt wishes for good relationships go out to you.
GTR1400 GTR1400
61-65, M
4 Responses Nov 30, 2012

Cute story!!! Black girls like myself love you white guys too. White guys are HOT! ;)

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Great story....:)

Wonderful story, thank you!