Post

Missing Your Husband/partner

I was widowed in 1998 when I was 42 - my husband died from a heart attack - he was 45.

10 years on and I still miss him very much although I have a busy social and working life and have now got two lovely grandchildren. 

It's the coming home to no-one to talk to or share the day with that is most difficult to deal with.

D55 D55 51-55, F 18 Responses Nov 3, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

iam sorry for losts of your love ones i know the hurt to well on march 8 2012 i lost my husband my friend he had a heart attack we was together 29 years met him at 15 married him at 18 i talk to his picture everyday i hope he hears it no thats not crazy i hope we all find peace one day

I understand your feelings. I lost my husband 2 years ago and I miss him very much. I think about him all the time. Our friends have all seemed to move on and it hurts me that they seem to have forgotten him. I know they have not really forgotten but I guess moved on.

i lost my wife at 19 we had been with each other sense 12 yers old and married for 5 years when she was killed<br />
<br />
<br />
the same day our mother took her own life thinking both her kids were gone but i was in a coma from a plane crash the days before the people that came to tell out mother was the same group that was there the day before to tellher i was missing and presummed dead<br />
but unlike many here we knew we never could have children and all we had was each other

I could say that you shouldn't feel guilty, but I have been down that road and it's something you have to figure out on your own. One day you will realize that there had to be something more that he had on his mind. You cannot be the sole reason. Perhaps whatever complications he was experiencing were not of your doing. Even if they were you were not alone. It takes two in a relationship. Remember changes are inevitable and we can't stop them we can only learn to deal with them and continue to live for the sake of those we love.

In March 2008 my husband of 8 yrs. committed suicide. He was the kind of person who no one would have ever believed would do something like that. It was a total shock to me and everyone who knew him. We had been separated at the time but I still loved him very much and the circustances surrounding our relationship were very complicated. I cant help but feel responsible at least in part for what happened and it doesnt get any easier. Time doesnt seem to change anything.....

In March 2008 my husband of 8 yrs. committed suicide. He was the kind of person who no one would have ever believed would do something like that. It was a total shock to me and everyone who knew him. We had been separated at the time but I still loved him very much and the circustances surrounding our relationship were very complicated. I cant help but feel responsible at least in part for what happened and it doesnt get any easier. Time doesnt seem to change anything.....

You know Monzee, I ended up buying a whole new one.<br />
The old one just got so frustrating.Then when we had some tornado storms I needed to cut some tree limbs up and had to hire someone to do it for me. I had sold the chain saw to the roofer a year ago.<br />
Don't think I could have done it alone anyway and I am too afraid my kids would get hurt. <br />
But doing lawn work seems help me vent. If you need to talk just holler.

My husband died 2-2-09 from cancer. Diagnosed 12-14-08. <br />
I had lawn mower troubles too, cried like a baby yelled at him and almost put up the for sale sign.

sounds good to me. It took me six months before I could touch anything of Johns. I just did what felt comfortable. So I think doing what feels right is good. If your not ready then I don't think you could bring yourself to do it. I still have my husbands housecoat. Its the last of his clothes. Its all good though. Now I know how to start the bl<x>inking lawn mower on my own.LOL

I also gave CPR to my husband. I do believe it was too late but I felt I had to do something.Now I wish I just held him. He died Jan08 aged 54 suddenly with cardiomyopathy. I still have all his clothes around. Slippers. Dressing gown behind door. Now beginning to sort through things. its got to be right. I dont want to throw something and then regret it. <br />
Couldnt get the lawn mower started today. That would have reduced me to tears last year. Well I trundled it back to the garage and did the leaves instead. Thats got to be good hasnt it.

yeah, <br />
I still talk to John too. It's hard not to tell him about how my days are. Sometimes I talk about the kids and ask his advise. That's usually when I get angry with him. I have a 14 year old boy who is quite a handful at times. I tell John that it was supposed to be his job to talk to him. <br />
It helps to talk to John. Even driving down the road while people stare at me. I just smile at them and keep on going.

Nothing crazy about that - I talk to my husband too - usually when I can't find something or something that I am trying to do in the house is not going well and it would have been something he could have sorted with ease. Somehow it helps!

Well I must be crazy because I talk to Tony all day every day. I tell him everything just as if he was still here. I tell him how my day is going or how it went, how I am feeling, how much I miss him and love him, Good morning and Good night, etc. The one most important thing missing is his talking back, comforting me, telling me how much he loves me too. A day never went by that we did not tell each other "I love you". <br />
<br />
I know when people see me at a red light and I am talking into space, they must think I am a total nut case. But...this seems to help me get through the days and nights. Maybe he can hear me, maybe not...I don't know. I just don't feel like I can stop talking to my best friend.

I have a very busy life, as well, keeping our business running and raising three kids alone. My little sister has come to live with me and work with me, but when the day is done, I miss John. It's not really the same to talk to someone else or a pet or even my own kids. <br />
There is a difference in the air and feel when you talk to the one you love about the everday goings on. <br />
I miss that too.

I JUST RECENTLY LOST MY HUSBAND IN DEC 18,I GAVE HIM CPR HE HAD LACK OF OXYGEN TO BRAIN IT TOOK LIFE SAVING CREW TO LONG TO GET TO MY HOUSE AND I LIVE 5 MIN AWAY HE LIVED 11 DAYS BUT NEVER DID COME OUT OF COMA HE HAD A HEART ATTACK HE WAS 55

Yes, I do have a pet already - I moved to Kent with my daughter and 4 cats, 2 kittens plus 2 dogs! Sadly in the 9 years since the 4 cats have died (all aged 19-20) plus one of the kittens (aged 9) and both dogs (both 19). I work full time and spend over 11 hours out of the house each day so seems hardly fair to get another cat or dog now. My grandson badly wants me to get another dog as my son in law won't allow him any pets at home but my work means I am away from home quite a lot so not really fair to get a dog then have to leave it with someone because I am away.<br />
I'm very lucky in that I have a good social life and my grandchildren are wonderful - it's that time you spend just with your partner I miss.

I hope this doesn't seem insensitive, but perhaps getting a pet might help ease that empty feeling at home. I know when my husband was working late every day, having my cat to come home to really helped me feel less alone. Now that my husband is laid off, the kitty also helps him with companionship while I'm away at work. If you aren't going to be home that much, try getting a pair of kitten siblings. They can keep each other company when you are away and be playful and entertaining when you come home.

Maybe EP can help fill some of that gap? Welcome, hope you find many good friends.