I Miss My Husband

My husband died December 13, 2008 from a sudden heart attack.  He was only 46 years old and we were married 14 years.  I never considered living my life without him and now I find myself alone.  We had no children and I don't know if that is a blessing or not.  The reason I say that is because I am so lost right now that I don't think I could take care of anyone the way they should be taken care of.  Right now, I can't even take care of myself.  The grief I feel is so intense that I feel like I am losing my mind.  I have returned to work but feel like I really cannot concentrate on my job. My friends and family tell me that it will get easier with time....I just don't see that happening right now.  I have always been a strong person, but feel as though my strength died with him.

Zingara37 Zingara37
46-50, F
16 Responses Jan 21, 2009

I feel exactly as you do.

I know what you mean about your strength being gone. I didnt realize how much strength I drew from him.

I miss my sweet husband too. We were just 38 when he died instantly in an accident in 2011. We were each others whole life. Best friends & true love since the day we met at 20 yrs old (married for 13 yrs). I take great comfort in that (despite having no warning of his impending death) we knew how much we meant to each other & no words are unspoken. We didn't have kids & that's ok for me. I just miss him awfully & it's hard to think of living on this planet without him. I have great friends & have another love. I just want my husband back. I don't think the pain will ever ease. I am just trying to learn how to live with it. He was a beautiful soul who is dearly missed. I try to live in his honor.

Me too I feel exactly like you. I have always been strong too but feel as though my strength died with him too. I have 2 autistic sons to raise his stepsons. I am trying the best I can to be a good mom for them but dear god help it's SO hard. I just lost my husband August 14, 2012. due to stage 4 pancreatic cancer. We were told of the cancer june 19, 2012 he died short of two months from the time we were told. He (we) went through shear hell. I am so thankful to god for ending his suffering cause boy did he. but I don't know how to act without him. I miss him SO bad I feel like it's gonna take me down so bad. Dear god be with all of us suffering from our losses.

Hi Zingara, I am very sorry to hear of your irreplaceable loss and I can imagine how you must feel. It is said that time heals all wounds and I certainly hope that with the passage of three and a half years the pain of your loss has diminished to some extent. No one deserves to suffer and yet our lives here on Earth are meant to enable us to experience a full range of emotions. This is something that all of us, in one way or another, have to undergo. Life sometimes seems so unfair, yet there is a deeper meaning to all of our experiences here on Earth.<br />
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I can only suggest that you create a circle of friends with whom you can spend some time so that your loneliness is mitigated to an extent. Such meetings will help you forget your own worries for a while and let you try and help others who may have problems which seem greater than yours. In doing this you will find comfort and pleasure which will relieve your burden to a large extent and make you more cheerful. All my sympathies with you and hoping for the best for you. Cheers!

hi there... we are the same... i lost my husband 4 months ago he died @ 43 he died in a sudden heart attack and we had a son... all my life has been with him and i cant accept the reality that he is no longer with us but i need to move on for my son... and its God whom i talk everyday everytime i feel so alone and empty and grief.. & it gives me a relief everytime i had a conversation with God i pour out everything to him....

I am so sorry for your loss, But I feel your pain very badly. I just lost my husband in January, 5 months tomorrow suddenly to sudden cardiac arrest and he was only 52, and I am 49 and now left as a widow. And we also had been together for 14 yrs. with no children together. He had 2 children by a previous marriage and I have 1 by a previous marriage and my Son has been a tremendous help with taking care of things around the house that my husband used to do. But the pain is unbearable. I cry myself to sleep every night and wake up with swollen eyes. I wasn't able to return right away back to work but I just recently returned in May and it has been so very hard. He used to take me and pick me up and everyday I miss that. I am still struggling very bad with his loss. I do go to grevance counseling and that helps a little but I hate being without him. Saturday is our anniversary and I don't know how I am going to get passed that day. I am miserable without him. I was not ready to lose him this soon in life and only God knows why he was taken from me now but I will never understand. We had so many plans to fill that are left unfilled now. Everyone tells me it gets easier with time but I don't see how it can. But if you haven't tried counseling you might try that. It may help you also a little. Or a support group for widows. I haven't found one of those yet but I have been looking. I also have started going to church and that helps also. Prayers is what keeps me going anymore.

Ok I am not a widow..I am a 55 yr old man. I had a heart attack in Nov.2010.<br />
I didn't die. I thank God for that.<br />
It has made me appreciate my wife and kids so much more!<br />
My wife and I were talking Divorce. Now we are getting closer.<br />
I like to think my wife would have grieved over me, but to be honest, I don't think so.<br />
Good Luck

I'm glad you survived and have a second chance in your life. I hope your family realizes how fortunate they are to have you still. I bet your wife would be shocked to know how much she really did love you and I'll bet she has no idea how hard her life could be without you. I hope she sees this before it's too late. Give all the love you can now. It's all that matters in the end. God bless.

I have lost my husband to injuries he sustained during a car accident caused by a drunk driver. He died 3 months after attempting recovery at home. A blood clot killed him. I was blessed to be with him as he took his last breath.<br />
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It has only been 10 months and I still cry at odd and inappropriate moments. <br />
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We were married for 14 years and today is our anniversary.I understand only too well how lonely you are feeling and I extend a big hug to you.<br />
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wrapping you with a warm hug.

I just wanted to thank everyone who has commented and have shared their love and support for me. Not to mention their wisdom. It is nice to know that I am not alone...others are also feeling or have felt the same emotions that I am experiencing right now.<br />
Thanks again

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in 2007, also very suddenly. He was 55. I was 43. I know how you are feeling right now. Just take everything very slowly and as time passes things will get a little better.

Please believe that you are making some progress by reaching out to the love that is on this site - live in the moment and put yourself first are the only words popping into my head right now. Hope they are of some use. Take care x

Please believe me when I say you WILL see your husband again. He is aware of your overwhelming saddness and loves you dearly....he doesnt want you to waste your energy....be happy and patient with yourself.<br />
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We all see our loved ones again on the other side.....which is wonderful /peaceful/ full of love.<br />
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Heaven Father loves you and understands your pain....you will be home again soon......but until then,<br />
pray for his loving peace to surround you.

Hey Zingara,<br />
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Here you might find a bit more strength. It seems we are a group of women young and old who all know where you are. It doesn't matter if you have children or not. There is nothing in this world that can extinguish your grief. We all just have to find our way to learn to live and love again. Remember , we are all in this together and whatever your need we will be here to help. Just give any one of us a yell. Many of us wouldn't be here if it didn't give us a place to vent and find a little piece of mind.

Please don't say it doesn't matter if you have children. You can't know the empty, silent world of a childless widow who can find no purpose in her life. Yes, I know you may wish for silence and peace or time to cry but when you are surrounded by that empty silence and no chance of relief even for the effort of cooking dinner, no one is waiting for dinner, no one is asking you for anything, no one even knows you exist. You could simply walk out into the freezing blizzard and no one would come looking for you or even know you are gone. You could take comfort in being a meal for the wild animals and that no one would have to worry about what happens to your body. No one would be there to throw a funeral or a celebration of life. No one would even know you were gone. That is what this is like.

o please try and be strong i lost my husband the same year of a heart atack belive me hun its so hard and i know how you feel . my heart is with you if you ever need to talk mess me il be here for you . my husband was 48