Girf

hi everyone,I'm in my midddle4o's.recently widow2 children one turning 13 in just days.christmas ,thanksgivingwasis  hard but  i think this is going to the hardest,first birthday without dad.is anyone in my shoes or just went to talk please let me know.has anyone gone to the girf of missing a love one?

wanitta wanitta
46-50, F
3 Responses Mar 23, 2009

Hi Girf,

My husband passed away last year 2012 in February, I still miss him, I think that you will never stop missing them, it will just not hurt anymore over time. When I miss him, I would think of the fun things we did together, the smile brought some healing. i dedicate my time to my children and my work, it helps a bit. There is nothing wrong to miss someone, the loneliness is the worst!

I am sorry for your loss, and I do sympathize with you. I was a widow at 37, with 2 children who were 8 and 14 at the time. I raised them by myself, and then I ended up remarrying 13 years later. What you are going through is very hard. It seems like no one understands your moods or your pain. It does help though if you have a close friend or relative that you can talk to. It also helped me to always be there to listen to my children. But I also found out that some children don't convey all their feelings to the parent that is left behind. I guess its partly because they know you are feeling too much pain, and they have their own pain and feelings to deal with. My children and I also went to therapy...it sometimes helps to talk to someone who can listen without judging how you feel about your loss. I know that I missed my husband so much sometimes that I thought I would die too. And then as birthdays and holidays would come and go, I would actually get mad at him for not being here with me and the children. It seemed like everything reminded me of him. I kept all of his personal belongings on his dresser just the way he had them for a year until my brother finally (and very caring) told me that I needed to do something with his stuff because he wasn't coming back. I would cry at the oddest times. I just felt so alone. I felt anger. I felt weak. There were just too many emotions, and they would come and go. But as time went by and I realized that I needed to reconnect with those around me and reconnect with my faith, I began to feel somewhat better. I still think of my husband almost everyday, and I still miss him. The only difference now is that it doesn't hurt as much. I don't think that people understand that just because a person dies it doesn't mean that the love you have dies too. If you ever need to talk, I will listen. God Bless You and your children.

Not lost a spouse but have gone through loss. I am sorry for your loss it must be a very hard time for you and your children. I would recommend you talk to them a lot or as often as they need to talk about it. knowing it will be harder for you.<br />
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If you have a parent or a good friend don't be afraid to talk to them, to cry to grieve the loss. Only time will make things easier the loss never goes away. <br />
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I will keep you in my thoughts again I am so sorry for your loss