So Lonely

 i lost my husband 2 weeks ago, and i am so sad.  I would be married 30 years 3 kids and a grandbaby.  what do i do without him? how do i get through each day?  please share with me.......

hiscakes hiscakes
46-50, F
11 Responses Mar 28, 2009

I am 34 I lost my first husband when I was 20 he was 24 on june 11 2000 from a rollover then my third husband July 15th 2013 from a blood clot me n him never was without one another day n nite for 8 yrs he went to school on line so WE WERE NEVER NEVER APART I NOW HAVE 6 kids 3 boys r mine but he raised the youngest as if he was his he was his dad se ce my son was 2 weeks old the older boys live with my mom then he had 2 girls there mom took off so they never knew her then we have a daughter together GOD......I MISS HIM IM SOOOO VERY ALONE I NEVER PAYED OR WORRIED BOUT BILLS IF I WANTED SOMETHING NO MATTER HOW MUCH $ I got it having a best friend I told everything everything to a cuddler a calmer downer HE IS /W AS MY VERY BREATH I my own heart now I'm only half here fake n every smile laugh

Its still me I now truly know lonely longing n torture of being only half here if anyone has anything to say id luv to here it I have a phone I use not very often so u can text 8014724145 I'm 34 n now know I will forever b alone for rest of my life

Stand n here scream n to God y y did I Barrie two b4 I was 40

hi , I lost my partner of 36 year in October he was a flyin and flyout worker he never come home he fell down some stairs and passed away. I am lost don't know what to do I never got to say good by it is so sad we have two boy together they live AWAY. It hurt so much . I know what u are going through. CHRISSY 16/10/2013

Hi Chrissy

I lost my husband on the 20th November 2013 he got knocked down on his way to work. We to never got to say goodbye we have 3 children 8,15 and 20 we miss him so much he was always here never away from us. I don't know how I am going to get through life without him

sorry to here that its one of the hardest things that I or we have faced just going to the fireworks for AUSTRALIA day was so sad hope you are going ok I hate the mail box the phone and even talking to people but we will do it one day at a time
hugs to you and your family

My husband died this July . I know how you feel I wish I could say it will get better and I'm sure it may but I still hurt and sometimes I just lose control over the smallest thing . You have to focus on your kids just to get through the Holidays . I was married 42 years I got married when I was 16 , so I pray for you to have peace....

I lost my husband on 28th July 2012 I feel lost and lonely. Ive lost 2 stone so far, as i dont see the point of cooking just for me. What is the point of carrying on without the love of my life. The doctors promised me that he was going into hospital for 2 days to sort out his medicine and he would be home, he went in on Friday 27th July and past away on Saturday 28th July. It seems like a nightmare that I cant wake up from. We had so many plans and now I have nothing. Its just long lonely nights and long lonely days. I have 3 children and 2 grandsons but feel as if Im in the way even though the are all great with me and i see at least one of them every day. What do I do now and ideas.

i lost my darling husband 18 months ago, july 24, 2010. like junedowles above, my husband was everything to me, my best friend, the absolute center of my life. i'm so alone and so lonely. i think my friends are tired of my sadness, too. and i don't even share as much as i feel. i cry alone now, don't cry in front of people. sometimes i break down and scream so and think i'll collapse and never get up. and i sometimes wish that would happen. no one can prepare you for this. i see a grief therapist and she's so kind but she doesn't like me to sound so "negative". well, i am negative because everything was taken from me. no one else understands but someone who stands in your shoes.

What you said is so true, people try to comfort but unless they have experienced loss, they can't fathom the sick, gut wrenching feeling that comes with losing someone you love so much- my husband was everything to me as well, he took good care of me in every way and made all the major decisions, now I feel so scared and alone to be doing all I need to do, things I'm never done before and not having my greatest supporter by my side. I've often felt I wish it had been me instead of him, but I don't wish anyone to go through this nightmare.. Feel free to correspond with me anytime...

I still get that gut wrenching feeling. I have family and friends but your right they don't know tell they go through it. The lonely lost foggy feeling sometimes is unbearable.

I cry all the time and as you say unless they are in your shoes they don't understand like you I wish we had gone together I get jealous of couples who are going on holidays or just out shopping

I am one of those who stands in the same shoes you are. I lost my husband, my best friend on July 28, 2011. He had a heart attack, unexpected, I found him, will never get that out of my head. After the funeral, not one person came to visit me. I have really been all alone. I have a daughter, who lives close by, but she is newely married and has a baby. She tries her best. But at the end of the day and weekends, I am so alone and lonely. People say it will get better, I don't see how, I am so afraid I will live the rest of my life alone and lonely.

1 More Response

I lost my darling husband on the 7th July this year and am finding life unbearable. We were married for 44 years, he was my best friend my everything. I feel so lonely and I know my friends are getting fed up with me as I am so down and they do not know what to say to me. Some days I feel I am going to lose my mind and that is frightening, as anyone else felt that?

Your post was exactly how I feel, I lost my husband of 44 yrs. 5 wks. ago- friends and family try to comfort but there are no words that can bring comfort, I feel very lonely as well, my husband had his own business so was consumed with work, seven days a week, we had the evenings and most of Sundays to spend together, now those are the times I dislike the most, the house is so empty and quiet , I do have a son that still lives with me, which I am grateful for. I as well feel scared and feel as though I'm going insane sometimes. I just don't know if I'll ever get any joy back in my life, he was truly my soulmate, someone I wanted to live our remaining years with, all the plans we had, it's all gone... I'm sorry if I sound so negative, but I feel your pain because I am living it too.

Sat nights Sundays kill me .. trying to cook a meal makes me cry, that was what he loved is me to cook for him.. I see couples together and want to yell because I will never have that . Believe me. I want my life back ... but now I need to find peace with the life we are given now.. God bless you...

I lost my husband july7 2012, of a massive heart attack . Not a day goes by that I don't cry. I have 4 boys age 25 19 17 15. three live at home and I am over whelm with trying to keep everything normal for their sake but inside I am sad lonely and I feel broken when my boys are not with me i cry all the time. I can not hear any old songs because it reminds of him. I have not got rid any of his clothes have or any of his stuff everything is in his drawer like he left it. And i feel guilty for not appreciating him when we were married like i should have i was happy and i didn't know it. I would never have anybody that love me like he did. Thank God for my faith that i know i would see him again.

I forgot to mentioned my husband died after we made love he died in my arms his last words was I love you

I lost my husband July14th this year. I know what you are going through!!! Its part of the grief we were married 42 year.

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My heart goes out to you, I felt every word.

Hi Its so sad when you lose a loved one. My husband died 2 months ago. We were married for 14 years. August we went away on holiday in our touring Caravan. He felt unwell and went to the doctors when we came home. The next thing we know he has a brain tumour. Went on some super holidays together. 2006 we went to Canada. I have a small part time job. When I come home at night it's so loney. No one to say hello duck. The weekends are the worst. I can not be bothered to cook for myself. So I go to a pub to have a meal. Even that seems strange eating alone. It will take time to ajust.

hi Hiscakes<br />
Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my darling husband and best friend just over 8 weeks ago. Some days are good some are bad. no two days are the same. I think i have now excepted that he is not going to walk in through the door. It does seem a scary world out there when you have all the decisions to make on your own. But hopefully he will be with me when i have to start making the decisions on my own. Take care if you need to talk please get in touch. It does help to talk which i have learnt.

I don't know if this will help or hurt you, I mean no pain or insult. But this has always stuck with me.<br />
<br />
If tears could build a stairway,<br />
and memories a lane,<br />
I'd walk right up to heaven,<br />
and bring you home again.<br />
<br />
My heart goes out to you, if not this, I hope you find something that at least eases your pain. As Lord knows nothing will ever take it away.

made me cry x

Hello hiscakes,<br />
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my husband in April of 2007. I have three children from ages 10-14. I can tell you that it isn't going to get easier. I wish I could, but talking to people helps. If you have someone like family or friends to talk to, that would be of some comfort. Let them try to help. <br />
What I have found so very helpful is my faith and friends, but what I could not find in my friends, I have found here. Sometimes you need someone who knows your feelings. Surprisingly enough, you will find that what your thinking and feeling is not uncommon.<br />
You are not alone. Remember that. When you feel abandoned or lonely or at an end, just come here and tell us about it. There are plenty on this site and on the other widow group: Recently widowed. <br />
Let yourself cry. Don't hold it in. Be aware of how you are holding up and let your family help you. Don't let anyone rush your grief. You will know when you are ready to deal with certain things. Right now, just take care of yourself.<br />
If you need me, just message me. Remember that this will not get better, It just changes. I'm sorry if I sound so blunt. I want you to know.... I want to share with you the basic things. Read others stories here and respond, ask questions. We will help you.<br />
My prayers and love go out to you.