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How Did This Hapen?

My husband and I ran a business together. We built it with the intention of just making a living. We had been married for six years when we started out. We had three great kids together.

When he died in 2007 I was devastated. He had been mine and now he was gone. Our small town business made us a lot of friends. I didn't want for family or friends. I kept the business open even though most people assumed I would close without John. He was, after all, the Salesman, Artist, and Boss. I was the secretary and laborer. For months I struggled on not quite all there, but still alive. I had to let our one helper go, and worked alone.  That was hard.

The main supply company had a delivery driver who had worked our route for about 2 years. He was a nice guy. Very trustworthy and always made sure our deliveries were not damaged. He and John would talk sometimes on days I was not there. Fabian was careful not to fraternize with his customers wives.

I don't remember much about those months after John died. I do remember when one day I had been crying while working on some artwork on the computer , when Fabian walked in.  I tried to cover my mood with some chatter. I didn't like people to see me cry.  He started talking to me and I responded. It occurred to me that he might not know about John. (Silly thought really) I asked him if he knew and he said, "Yes, I know. I just didn't know what to say to you."

He made me feel better with that. I don't know why. Maybe because everyone else was so quick to talk about his death that I was glad someone wanted to talk to me about me. I don't know. Anyway, he left me his phone number and told me to call anytime I needed to talk. I called him one day about a month later. We started talking all the time. Then In April I was going to go camping with my kids and little sister who had just started working with me. The day before I left I was talking to Fabian at the shop and before he left he kissed me on the cheek.(Fabian is very shy and just a smidgeon shorter than me) I, without a second thought, Kissed him back. On the mouth. I was surprised by my own action and just walked away like I didn't have a care about doing it. The next thing I know he is kissing me and that's how it all started. Wow! What a kiss. We haven't actually dated yet, but he is always working and so am I. But we have only been an item for about 5 months. My husband and I dated over a year.

John has only been gone a year and a half, but once I thought that I was going to be dead inside for a long time, now I know I can live, love and be happy again.

theredlady theredlady 41-45, F 9 Responses Sep 20, 2008

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Good to see you happy, Red :D

Ah this relationship was just a lifting period for me. We are friends now, but nothing more. My life has changed a great deal and I am happy again.

some people are for some kind of reason into your life, now you know why, and it make you al lift up from al your pain and misery, it's beautifull that it still works that way......it;s calles life is for the living, thanks for the story, and yeah update te story, how is daily life now?

Ahh I should edit this story and update. He is someone who is only a friend now. We rarely see each other and only talk occasionally but he did give me a small hope and a little spark of life to get me back on track. I will ever more be grateful to God for that spark.

GOD IS GOOD.HE SENDS SOULMATES INTO OUR LIVES AT THE MOST APPROPRIATE TIMIMG TO BOOST OUR LIFE.

He still calls me almost everyday. We talk, we see each other from time to time, but we live 70 miles away from each other and he still delivers for the same company, just a different route now. He hasn't changed a bit. :) Thank you for commenting.

Thanks, I do have to say after I posted my comment, the holidays hit and things got tougher for me. I know that my guy and I were meant to meet and I do love him very much.. we are slowing down things like I should had in the beginning.. but not having anyone around who could say that they had been in my shoes before made it difficult to refrain from so involved. I have to now take the time after 4 months of us being together to sort things out and work on myself and get my oldest daughter (5 1/2) the help she really needs. I dont regret anything, I am happy that I saw what I needed to do now rather than another 6mo down the road. You can fall in love again.. just dont go searching for it.. it will find you. and your girls are right, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and find someone who can do that for you.. you are not cheating, but you will be cheating yourself if you don't let yourself feel again. best wishes!!

I AM REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU ,I AM ALSO A WIDOW OF A YR AND A HALF, I CANT EMAGINE DATING I WAS MARRIED 16 YRS AND I AM 35 , I AM SO LOST I CANT EVEN THINK OF GOING OUT, I HAVE A 15 YR OLD AND A 10 YROLD AND THEY TELL ME THEY WOULD BE OK WITH IT, BUT I FEEL LIKE I WOULD BE CHAETING,TELL ME IS IT POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN?? I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE ALL MY LIFE...AJIM

I know how you feel, my husband just passed away 2 1/2 months ago after battling a bone marrow desease for 6 months. I had prepared myself to be alone forever and just be me and my 2 little girls (5 & 1)... but then one day about a month after he passed, I met a friends' neighbor and something happened.... If I didn't do what my husband requested of me (staying with this friend while he was in hospital and after his death) I would have never gotten the special gift he left me. That is the way I look at it, I was left with a special gift and someone who doesn't mind when I have those bad days or when I talk about memories... I feel like I've known him for years, like he's always been a part of my life. I've learned that it's okay to love again, and you have to do what makes you happy and not to worry about what everyone else thinks you should/shouldn't be doing.