I Lost My Best Friend

Posted by teese on July 28th, 2009 at 10:37PM

56-60 year old member
1 story


I lost my husband on January 29th of this year.  He was sick for 2 months then diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away 5 weeks later.  I was so busy taking him to doctors, and testing and trying to work myself that I never took the time to really feel anything more than overwhelmed.  His condition became very complicated and he was admitted to the hospital for the last 12 days of his life.  Also at the same time his sister was in the Intensive Care Unit on a respirator, after going into respiratory arrest at home.  The doctors could not do any more for her after a few weeks and advised the family to take her off the respirator, which is what they did.  So both my husband and his sister were in rooms side by side dying. When my husband figured out on his own that there was no hope for him, he then spent the rest of his days making sure that his family would be ok.  We have 4 grown children and 4 grandchildren and we are a very close family.  He made sure that the grandchildren (his babies) were not afraid.  At first they could not even look at him without sobbing, but within a week they were laying in bed with him laughing at his jokes.  He made his peace with everyone, but every now and then he would tell me,"maybe something will change."  I stayed strong and replied that what the Lord has planned we will have to accept.  His faith and strength was incredible.  He did so much more for us in those 12 days than we ever did for him.  His sister passed away just 3 days before he did.  Her wake was the same evening that he died.  How hard it has been on everyone especially on his other siblings, to lose a brother and a sister within 3 days. I am no longer numb, but cry all the time.  He passed away 3 months before our 40th wedding anniversary.  I have been with him since I was 15 years old.  He was my everything, but most he was MBFF.  I relive those last few months over and over and I just can't get past it.  My kids are fantastic, looking out for me everyday but grieving terrible themselves.  I try to keep going and be strong for all my children and grandchildren.  I am trying everything I can think of to help me, even sharing my experience and maybe chatting with others who are going through what I am going through.

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teesec05 teesec05
1 Response Jul 16, 2010

"The single finger which wipes our tears during our failures is better thenthe ten fingers come to clap on our victory