I woke up early this morning and it suddenly dawned on me just how alone I really am!  Of couse I have work colleagues/friends (most of whom are married and have their own families) who I sometimes go out with on occasions, but not what I would call 'close' friends, friends that I could ring up out of the blue and perhaps ask them to accompany me to the hospital (nothing serious, but one of those occasions where they just advise you should have someone to accompany you), etc.  I am detached from my brothers/sisters - never was really ever close.  I do have a son who I know would attend with me if need be BUT he works hard and he does have his own family and I simply could not bear it if I became a burden on him - I love him too much for that, and I know he would not hesitate in helping me out - no question about that -  but what has frightened me here is that there is no one else I can ask!  Its an awful feeling, scarey. 

I did have my husband up to two years ago but sadly he passed away 2008.  We were married for 36yrs and I took for granted that somehow he would always be there for me! 
shadow111 shadow111
51-55, F
2 Responses Aug 8, 2010

Hi Honey<br />
I feel the same way you do, the empty and lonely feeling is nothing I have ever experienced before in my life and I have been divorced before and there is no comparison whatsoever. Yes it is scary in a very eerie way that is beyond discribing!!! My flesh and blood family is estranged due to abuse to me, my children and step children are spread out all over the US and friends well they have gone back to living their lives, and there is me who feels abandoned. My husband died suddenly two months ago and it sucks.

Hello,<br />
<br />
This is my story EXACTLY word for word, line for line and sentiment for sentiment. I do know just how you feel as I am there myself. I felt as if I was reading about my own situation, Nothing to add really as you have said it all and the feeling is mutual.<br />
<br />
I have the colleagues, detached from my siblings, lost my husband in 2008 and have the adored son that I will never burden with my problems, because I love him that much. Yes, he is there if I need him but I never let on how my life really is either. We do not have the right do do this to our children, I agree.<br />
<br />
I am here, however, so you are not alone.......write to me anytime and I will be happy to correspond