I Lost My Most Precious Treasure

I am writing this today because i am feeling heavy and want to vent off my pressure.
This starts app. eight years back when I decided to give up the job and start my own business. Started this with full consent of my family. my family means my wife and my children.
For this I took some money from my brother also and invested whatever I had. I worked hard day and night and ran this for five odd years with lot of ups and downs. Finally I had to close this off in 2007 due to financial crisis. I was totally ruined.
I again started with the job at a very low level away from my family. We were facing lot of crisis but were contented(I feel so).My wife or children never complained for this.
My daughter was in marriageable age and we arranged her marriage in 2009.This was responsibility every Indian parent has. I had to borrow money for this again.
After one year of my daughter’s marriage my wife started showing the signs of sickness.Simultaniously I could get a better job.
Now the real problem started. I was away on job, my son taking care of my wife. His carrier started spoiling. He is obedient type of child and has sacrificed a lot for his mother. my wife’s illness intensified and her kidney’s got affected. She had to hospitalize every two months. For last two years she was in hospital for more than six times. Hospitals are very expensive now days. Even we had sell our values for her treatment.
At this point of time I realized the significance of relations. None of me or my wife’s brother or sister extended his hand to help us out rather all they cornered us and stopped talking even for the fear of we may ask some help. Only my daughter’s in laws were there with us all the times though this was a altogether new relationship.
Finally after the battle of tow years we lost it and my wife also. She left us precisely on 18th March12.I do not say that I was ever a good husband but I loved her with all my soul. I was always honest to her. She was below average but as my true love.
I am getting depressed day by day. My son has got a good job at Delhi and joined exactly after 22 days of his mothers death. He is working hard. My life has become a burden. I do not know what to do.I was always dependent on her. I wanted her company all the times. Even on official tours. I wanted her to be with me all the times, now.......I do not want to live further but for my children I have to.
Today I feel I have killed my wife. Had I had not gone for business, she would have not faced the problem of money. She compromised a lot with me whole life but finally gave up. She has cheated upon me.
KDSharma KDSharma
51-55, M
May 3, 2012