Lonely

It's been hard ever since my husband passed away just four months ago from cancer. I have trouble sleeping as he is not beside me to keep me worm and to talk to even though i have two grown up kids at home. Its not theĀ  same its like a big part of your life is missing and no body can help just be there for you.I just take each day as it comes, some days are good and some days are bad. They say it gets better i hope so. We were together 33years and married 26 so that is a long time.
ella2010 ella2010
46-50
2 Responses May 15, 2012

It doesn't get any easier, but you do learn to cope. Remember, even though you can't see him, he's there.

My husband, too, passed away from cancer. It is very difficult the first year and seemed impossible that there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. The pain is severe and endless. The beginning of the second year was difficult, also. You probably believe it will not get better. If you deliberately embrace your pain as opposed to running from it, (this hurts), and give yourself time to really grieve, life does look up. I know, this is the end of my second year, the beginning of the third. Life is tolerable, although hard. I deliberately look for small blessings each day and I always find something. I wish I could spare you the journey ahead, walk forward, each day brings you closer to healing.

Hi dandelyon.
Everyone tells me it gets easier but everybody is diffrent i say. What do you think about dateing again as i feel ready and some people say it's to soon but again i think it's when the person is ready not when they say.I have alot of good days now not so many sad ones. Its only when i hear a song or see a photo of him i get sad.

From the grief classes I have attended and what I am learning from this journey, I don't think one's emotions can be trusted this soon in the recovery. It seems that more devastation is added to one's loss/pain if you don't give yourself adequate time to heal. I am not sure that in just months after such a loss one's emotions have even begun to settle despite days that are better than others. As a rule of thumb, I have been told that one should not make any life changes for at least a year. I well understand the desire to replace the relationship that was lost for something as comforting but, it will not be the one you lost and it will take a lot of reserve to establish a new relationship. Be kind to yourself whatever you decide.

Thanks for your comment. I know i can not replace the relationship i had with my husband but i feel i should move on and start again.