Life Punched Me Freakn Hard....

Lets see, been 4 yrs that i have been a widow...I always thought we would grow old n enjoy the grand kids n each other..ha, life had its own course for us. My hubby died with his motorcycle on top of him. Now b4 u judge, please dont say motorcycles are not safe to be on. It depends on the driver. You can b walking,riding a bicycle etc. Its the driver most of the time. To this day we still dont know what happened to him. No drugs, drinkn, failure in mechanic in bike, no heart-attack, its a unknown. He was only 47yrs old..If anything he died instantly, he was knocked out in his head n then his neck was broke.(sigh) an yes he had DOT everything on..didnt now my life has changed to a surreal moments..sometimes good, bad, sad, hurt, angry, numb, everyone mourns different...Iam just so tired lately, just one day at a time ..just have to keep going n one day my hope is that it will b better...
harleysgirl006 harleysgirl006
51-55, F
2 Responses May 26, 2012

we became best friends in 8th grade at 11 years old we became man and wife at 13 years old not do to her have a child we could never have kids<br />
but we wanted and ask<br />
her mother gave permission as under the law we were self supporting we worked fulkl time jobs and out income excedd our mothers and yes i was given a home at 12.5 her mother became mine due to abuse<br />
<br />
12/27/1961 we became man and wife she was taken a few years later just over the age of 19

Dear Harley Girl, life hasn't been too kind to you as well as others who experienced death unexpectedly. I am only two years into the journey and at times wish I had a Harley or other motorcycle that I could ride into the wind and forget the day to day burden of coping with grief and loss. I have always thought it would be so much harder to sort out memories without answers. I am sorry that you do not have an exact cause of death. I understand the dreams of hoping to grow old together but, as with you life often cheats us of our expectations. <br />
<br />
I am not a doctor or therapist but, would suggest you talk with someone about the extreme tiredness. It is often tied to depression with often joins we widows without asking somewhere along the journey through grief. Also, if you have not had the opportunity to be a part of a good grief class, I would suggest you google "Grief Share" and type in your zip code to find one close to you. I attended it and found so much help/understanding of the process of grieving and tremendous support from others traveling the same road. There were people there in my class who had suffered loss many years before and were still stuck somewhere along the way who came. At best it is a great support group. <br />
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I am assuming you must have ridden together many times. Can you visit some of your favorite places you once shared and relive some of the awesome times you had there? Keep in touch if you wish to talk.