My Husband Was Murdered In My House While My Children And Me Were Held In A Bathroom

Two months ago my husband was murdered in our house. It had been a beautiful day, we were getting ready to go to bed. Three men entered my home, we had left the back door open. When I went to put my children to sleep a man entered my daughters room, put a gun to our heads he threw my 13 year old twin girls and myself onto a restroom floor. My husband was with my son in our bedroom, they brought them into my daughters room then after hitting my 14 year old son on the head with the gun because he kept looking at them and almost killing him they agreed after I begged them to give him to me, they shoved my son onto the bathroom floor with us. They kept my husband in the bedroom area, they asked my husband for money, he got nervous kept asking them for his family, time and time again, he didn't know we were in the bathroom. They kept asking for the safe, jewelry, money (they were drugged) he kept worrying about us. They told him we were fine and took him to another room and told us not to leave the bathroom in one hour or they would kill us all, because they left a gunman at the door. We heard them arguing, he kept telling them he didn't have money, or valuables, then they went downstairs, we had a pretty big house, so we couldn't hear much, after a few minutes we heard 2 gunshots. I was sure we were next. I told my children that in a few minutes the were going to enter and kill us, to not worry because we would be in heaven very soon. Gladly they didn't return. After an hour I went downstairs, there he was his head on the top stair to the garage his body motionless and a waterfall of blood going down like 6 steps the first three steps covered in brain matter.. I took his pulse checked to see his breathing NOTHING..
After that all has been a blur...a nightmare and my sadness has not gone away...I am zombie dead inside just existing...I am seeing a psychologist taking meds, but i am still so sad. We had been living together for a year but had only been married 3 months but had known each other since we were 14. I feel so alone, i spent EVERY minute of my day with him or texting or on the phone, we were soul mates, he was the best thing that ever happened to me...He treated me like a queen. I feel like I will never recover...the image of his body, the blood, the sound of the haunts me, the nightmares... It's just too hard
tristeviuda tristeviuda
41-45, F
7 Responses Jul 26, 2012

I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your husband. I can honestly say that I do know how you are feeling. Although our experiences are different, I myself experienced almost the same situation. On July 24th, 2015 a little over a month ago 5 men kicked in the back door of our home. My husband and I with our 4 daughters live at home, luckily our three teenagers weren't home. It was just me, my husband and our 6 year old. The men busted through the back door, while my husband was in our garage cleaning the cars. They put my daughter and I on the floor and held us at gun point. When my husband opens the garage door approx 30-45 sec later a couple of the men ran towards his direction and that's when I grabbed my daughter in my arms, (I'm also 6 months pregnant at the time) and ran as fast as I could out the front door. As I stepped through the doorway I heard 3 gunshots. I didnt know if they were firing at my daughter and I or my husband. I ran down the street to my friends house where I then called 911...a passerby had seen the men jump our back fence prior to the break in and had already called 911 for suspicious activity. I walked back to my home after about 15 minutes bc I heard the police had already arrived. The police locked me in the back of a car for 2 hours before driving me to the police station to ask questions. I still didn't know my husband had been murdered at this point. When the detectives called me back and finally broke the news to me I lost it. I had a nervous breakdown because just like you my husband is my soul mate. We've been married for 17 years. He's been my life since we were 19 years old. The love we share is very rare. Even after 17 years we were still so in love with one another. I was head over heels in love and we had dreams to watch our children grow and to spoil our grandchildren one day. My husnand lived to make me and our daughters happy. He truly was one in a million. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have met and married such an incredible man. I miss him so much, I don't know how to survive without him..I also feel like a part of me died with him. I don't feel like myself, I'm miserable and depressed. I think of my husband from the second I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. I cry for him all day, and I feel like my grieving is taking over. I've tried to make appts with therapist but haven't had luck getting in with one yet. How are you coping? How are your children handling things? I feel so lost, without my husband. It's hard making decisions on my own, we always decided on things together. My husband was so smart, and funny. I miss his silly moods, when he'd pick on the girls to make them laugh. He was such an amazing Father. I don't know anyone whose experienced anything as close as to what you and I went through and it would be nice to keep in touch to share what we've learned through therapy and counseling. If you have any advice for me please share and vice versa. In fact if we could exchange numbers somehow I have something I'd like to tell you about that most victims like us do not know about. You can look me up on Facebook under Stephanie Johnston-Lam, my profile pic is a black and white photo of my husband and I..hope to hear from you soon. God bless you. And thank you for sharing your story. Stephanie Lam

This saddens me.. I'm truly sorry for what you are going through. And no matter what I (we) say will make things better.. Just know he's a HERO & everyone has a purpose in this world . His purpose was to make you the happiest woman while he was here & you are truly blessed to have had that alone. Death is uneasy .. Painful & like u said leaves you feeling like a zombie, but think about your little ones. Not so long ago my 14 year old sister & my mom has changed in so many ways. Her life was sucked out right out of her.. I tell you this because there's nothing more u wish for than to see her happy & smile again. Like you should for your babies.. They need you right now like you need them. Lean on each other and appreciate each others presence. He will guard and guide you now & will forever be your heart. Be strong & a hero as he was that night.. I pray for your heart to heal & bring you back a little light in life.

Hello, How are you? I remember reading your story in the past. My own family has had a murder with my niece who was stabbed by her husband in 2009 she was only 33 years old. It is so hard to accept or to understand. Loss and horror at that level will need time to somehow “make some peace with” to feel “okay”. How are you and your children???? Hope you are all doing well for now. Blessings, Vee, Colorado

I am so sorry for you and your children. God Bless You , I hope you find a Bible based Church for you and your children so God can help you all to heal from this tragedy .

Dear Trista,<br />
Honey I am so so so SO sad to read what happend to your family,and to your dear husband and love. My beautifu niece was murdered in her home in Denver, 2009. She was a wonderful, responsble, hard working, caring mother and more--she was stabbed to death in her own home. It is devastating and the loss never goes away, you just learn to live it and eventually the memories are more good than bad. I am so sorry!!!<br />
<br />
I also just lost my own soul mate this year (3 months ago) he was a healthy, wonderful and amazing human being, He died in his sleep. People say “Well at least he went peacefully” I know what they mean, but the LOSS OF HIM NOT HERE!i is almost too mcuch to bear! my brain cannot even believe nor accept it yet. I long for his laugh, his voice and his presence. It is horribly painful. And I am going to grief counseling too because I have no desire for anything in life, I go through the motions as he would want me to be responsble and be strong, but the loss is overwhelming and I feel utterly alone as he was the ONLY one who understood me and I was the one who loved him. <br />
<br />
How are you doing how????<br />
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope the evil animals who did this pay with their own lives. Sad part of this world is that we are among bad people. <br />
<br />
I am a Christian and my faith in God has kept me afloat mentally and in every way....<br />
I was touched at the part of your story where you and your kids waiting for your own fate.<br />
I Hope the kids are alright too, are they getting counseling?<br />
<br />
Blessings, v, Colorado

i am so sorry to hear wat happen to you an d your family...may god give his soul peace...may his killers be judged according to their deeds...i wish you and your kids all the best in the future....god bless you strong beautiful lady...he will want that....

Most of us, though widowed, have no clue as to what you endured. Death is cruel in any form but, to witness such tragedy and have it imprinted so deeply within yourself is unimaginable. I am so glad you are getting help. Two months in a less tragic loss is still too soon to have anything together. Allow yourself time to travel through the stages of grief at your own pace and don't place demands upon yourself so soon. It will be a long journey but, the children need you so, that is your incentive to go on when you can. That is what your husband would want when you are able. I am so sorry.