How Do You Cope?

I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of my husband's passing. I've tried to keep busy, stay home, go out and about, distract myself and go through his things.

How about you? What have you tried to help cope?
WilbursSpikey WilbursSpikey
56-60, F
3 Responses Dec 12, 2012

It will be 4 yrs this Aug busy is good I wrote in a journal to my husband the first yr that helped and I came here and and talked to other widows, ep was a very important part of my healing the first person I met here told me to do something for others and I reached out to every new widow or widower that came after me and when I wanted to cry or scream I did and for me I counted on my lord to carry me thru and I had family that needed me which made me be strong for them and show them there still was joy in life and we make it the best we can we never stop loving and the loss is there but it gets more tolerable day by day year by year.

All very good ideas. :) As for my dreams, I can't remember them. I had hoped to dream more of my husband but I haven't, outside of a couple fleeting instances. Then I realized I probably don't dream of him because he's in my thoughts so much throughout the day.
I listen to my body and emotions. When I want to be around people, I go out and about. If I need to shelter my feelings, I have a quiet evening or weekend at home. When sadness comes, I let it wash over me like a wave, because I know like a wave it will recede. Thanks for writing Retiremesoon (a great screen name, btw!).

Anniversaries,birthdays,places you've both been,photo's and even movies you watched all bring up the GRIEF.

Read books on grief or join a group of other people going through the same thing.

The problem is that the subconcious mind knows everything so you end up with waves of grief.

If I asked you what your dreams have been for the last year it woulld be your subconcious mind showing you all the STRONG EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS played out in various dream.

The waves of grief will be up and down for several years.Books on grief help you to deal with those waves or a therapist can help if you wish.