I Am A Widow

My husband passed away last year 2012 6 February, he suffered a major stroke on 8 January 2012, which left him paralized on the right side of his body, we would have been married for 18 years on the 18th of February this year and very in love. Most people who knew us, said that they have never seen such a happy couple!

I have two daughters 12 and 15.

I guess that I do not want to go into a serious relationship right now, but can do with lots of friends and who knows maybe things build to something that will last forever.

If I have to give a summary of myself, being 40 with 2 children and trying to find someone who can be your friend, solemate, someone to be silly and nauhty with at the same time, will be difficult to find.

I don't need financial support, nor do I need "to be looked after", I have my own house, car and work and is more than capable to support my family.

I need someone who will love me for who I am and not for what I have, someone who is honest, loving, caring, fun to be with and who will respect love as it is meant to be. I believe in the words, for better or worse, sickness and health, till death do Us part.
waggeduldig waggeduldig
36-40, F
3 Responses Jan 10, 2013

My darling lady the one thing we all fear is losing a spouse. I regret that this has happened to you. I am so pleased that you had such a wonderful marriage. It indicates that when you meet the right person you have what it takes to have a delightful romance with your next husband.
Dating when you have teens is quite a challenge. I certainly wish you the very best.

Monica, The first thing you need to do is to try and stop dwelling on your sadness. It is hard. If you project sadness you will attract sadness. There are the usual things to do, church, join an exercise group, or an on line dating group. The thing is to get yourself out there where you can meet people. You won't get noticed unless you are available. Go volunteer at a vetrans hospital or nursing home, go read to kids at the Library.You never know when that special person might pop up. Join some more groups here on E.P. Then there is me...I am here if you need me. Your friend, mini

Thank you Mini, I have not gone back to church this year, most difficult part as this was the place where hubby and me were the happiest, I know I should go back.... the girls is keeping me guite busy, I have little time to do things, but I know I have to do something...I joined a gym....must find time to go. Thanks for being there, it is nice to know others has gone throught the same thing is you did.

Monica, I was widowed at 42.It was sudden but not unexpected. I morned and did all the steps after someone dies. I was not looking for another love. It happened. My new love is nothing like the husband I lost. Not better just different. I have a feeling you will be surprised one day that your heart can expand and take in someone new. Bless you. mini

Thank you Mini, I just don't know where to begin, I don't have any single friends anymore since I was married for nearly 17 years, all my closest friends are all married. I don't have time to go out, nor do I wish to go out alone if I made time. So what do you suggest I do? my daughters are 12 and 15 so they are not small anymore. Finding meaningfull friends without alteriar motives is difficult.

Start with you. Get to know you and what you like. Everything else will fall into place. Learn to Love you. Minimeoz ditto to everything she said. It will be okay.

Thanks, I thing we loose track of who we are over the years. My brother is living with us now...just to help the girls have a male figure in the house. I am away from home (out of the country) every two weeks (work purposes in Africa) which brings some strain to the girls. This year will be a time for change, I need to move on slowly but surely. I am not a "meant to be alone" person so I know God will send me someone in the right time.

So just a question, when you meet the other partner, won't it be difficult not to compare them to your deseased husband?

Oh my sister it will be extremely difficult. I like Minimeowz , my husband now is nothing like my first. However he does understand which it can be hard for some men to do and that is realize that "I really really really loved and still do love my first husband". So yes that will be difficult. There is no easy way about it. I do wish I had someone like me then, to know what it is like and just be able to talk to someone who experience such a horrible tragedy. I do thank the most high Creator for the support that I did have though. You can do it, just one day at a time. Time is the best medicine.

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