I Am a Widow With 5 Children

And after many years, I am surviving and happy, there is hope.

RedheadJolene RedheadJolene
41-45, F
6 Responses Sep 9, 2008

I do not know if you can truly get over the death of someone, time does somewhat ease the pain, and keeping busy with what you love to do in life does help, as I now love my job, which for the most part, jobs of the past were extremely stressful and sometimes made me more depressed and left dwelling on the losses of life. I did have to learn to rediscover myself, to find the real me, and to love me for me. Not an easy task!!! Not easy at all!! I went through a very painful off/on relationship with someone who almost crushed me and all the hard work I had accomplished alone with my children, and held tight to my faith and love of my self. Maybe that was a huge wake up call, as I came close to losing everything I had worked for my whole life, and this pain put everything into a better perspective for me. And out of no where, when I was just about ready to give up on life and society and my all, he came into my life, with not even as much as a minute to spare! He is the male version of me! I know it sounds crazy, but it is so true! He is helping me to heal in ways that I had ignored for so long! Which has brought me a whole new set of emotions that I did not know where still in me brewing. It is very cleansing, but do not get me wrong, I am still not there yet. Talking to someone who can truly understand where you are at and that has had a great deal of the same experiences throughout life as you have, and to be open enough with each other to share these has made us so much closer than I ever dreamed possible. Trusting is another issue, and we are building that trust into such a strong and wonderful bond, I can finally breathe for the first time in many, many years! I too thought my faith was a delusion, just to find out how wrong I truly was.

There has been no life after death in my case, my wound was mortal. I shun closeness, and choose to live in isolation, i now choose logic instead of faith! and logic dictates that faith is a delusion!! build on false hopes and dreams.

Your family info from 2008 is very informative; I wonder how it may have changed<br />
in a year and a half. And you are a widow, wow !! my prayers are with you.

How long did it take to heal? I can't seem to "move on".

Thank you mikal, kisses all over!

I thank you, there really is life after death, sometimes it can be better than the one that was taken so suddenly!