Why Him? Why Us ?

What is it like to lose your BEST FRIEND, your SOUL MATE, your EVERYTHING? Your world just comes crashing down,you lose your life,you lose everything that EVER MATTERED to you. It took me 30 years to find him, and I thought my life FINALLY had meaning. My life finally had what I was searching my WHOLE LIFE for. We had a life together that people only DREAMED of. People would look at us,and say how PERFECT we looked together.People used to say, when they thought of TRUE LOVE,they just pictured the relationship my husband and I had. People used to tell us that looking at us, they knew that TRUE LOVE SOUL MATES really DO exist. All they had to do was look at me and my husband. It was like we were a GREETING CARD for Hallmark for TRUE LOVE SOUL MATES.Our lives were `complete`.

 

My Husband and I would argue about who loved eachother more.We NEVER argued.We never fought.We never disagreed.We never even raised our voices at eachother. We used to finish eachothers sentences.We knew what the other was thinking before we opened our mouths to say anything.For 5 YEARS!.Some people found that unbelievable, but its true.We KNEW we were SOUL MATES.We would text message eachother, telling eachother how much we missed one another,and couldnt wait to get home.

It was like a day like any other.TIL THAT NIGHT. That night,....changed my life FOREVER. My husband had a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK, right in front of my eyes. I didnt know what was happening,and didnt know what to do.I KNEW CPR but wasnt able to do it, I didnt know he was DYING.I didnt know what was happening. He didnt talk to me, he didnt answer me, he didnt breathe. But I didnt see it, I thought he was going to be OK.I called 911,and thought when the Paramedics got there,they would FIX HIM.That everything was going to be OK. BUT IT WASNT. They couldnt fix him,they couldnt revive him,they couldnt save him.                                             My life ended that night.I lost my best friend,my soulmate,my everything.I live with the GUILT.I will FOREVER.       Why HIM? Why US?

 

LibertyBell LibertyBell
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 24, 2009

I sincerely apologize to all who commented my story,who said such wonderful things.I just want you to know I THANKYOU for all the positive energy,and offerings to stay in touch if I need to. <br />
I dont want you to think I am ignoring,or simply not responding back,I realized TODAY that these messages/comments were waiting.After all this time. I thanku for all the words of wisdom,and new-friendship offerings. Sadly,becoming a widow,you tend to become a "hermit".Including me...Except me-....Im a young-widow-hermit......with a dog. :P

your words resonate... i lost my soulmate feb 28 to a massive coronary (widowmaker)... i read your posting and thought i was reading my own entry... every survivior has their own grief and connections, memories and pains... people say it will get easier, they must be people that never had to experience this... life will never be the same.... sending you healing and positive energy.

Reading your story I felt that I was reading about my own exactly. If I were to write it, I would have described just what you have here.<br />
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We were the perfect couple as well, in all ways. When you have the added " Soul Mate" attached, for me , it feels as though my right arm has been severed..........something is clearly missing and a part of me died with him last August 2008 and I will never be the same.<br />
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Each of us has a unique story because the one that we lost was so unique and our treasure can never be replaced by anything. Time only serves to remind me, at least, that he really is gone and that I will never hear his laughter again, never kiss him again or just to spend time with him as time was not on his side...........<br />
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If you ever need me, I am here for you.....

The world is undoubtedly cruel. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish things could be different. The death of my soulmate showed me a great many things. 1.You can rarely count on doctor's to fix things. 2.This world never gives you what you want. And 3.When that person dies there is so little left of you that you don't really even see a point to living yourself, you just want to be with them one more time. I am truly sorry and if you ever need to talk I'm here. I understand what you're going through and we may be able to help eachother.