All Right Some Days, Not Others...

My husband died suddenly on 20th September 2008. I'm doing okay some days but not others, this morning I was great - now this afternoon, I'm not.

We were married for 39 years, he was 61, we have two grown up children and two grand children. There isn't a moment in every day that I don't think about him, I have his photo's right here in front of me and I wonder why this has happened to me. He was fit (or we thought he was)we cycled together, played tennis, walked. Now he's gone and left me in this big house on my own, I have to make all the decisions - any one else been bogged down by paperwork?

It's been nearly 6 months now, will it get better? Is there a future?

I apologise for this being disjointed, it's how I feel today.

SarahE

SarahE SarahE
61-65
1 Response Feb 28, 2009

I am sorry for your loss. My husband passed in August 2008 and so we are both in the same time fr<x>ame.<br />
<br />
There are good days and bad days still for me as well and I expect that to last for a very long time. There are no limits to grieving and we all will do so in our own time. Time is not a healer, it merely awakens us to the stark reality that our beloved one is really gone.<br />
<br />
It is most apparent for me the first thing when I open my eyes every morning........he is not there next to me anymore, and again at night........we used to love talking in bed before sleeping and he always held my hand every night as we drifted off. <br />
<br />
From what my therapist tells me, we are supposed to find a "New Normal" now, as the old normal is no more. This is the hardest one for me, as my husband was my life!