Will I Ever Have a Normal Life Again?

My husband died on Oct. 2, 2007. He was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of Aug. 2007. It was very aggressive and moved very fast. Tumors on his spine made it impossible for him to walk so he spent from Aug. 6, 2007 until Sept. 29 in the hospital. Came home to hospice on Sept. 29, died on Oct. 2. Everything happened very fast and we did not think he would die so soon. I have 3 adult children. My oldest daughter is married and had given birth to a set of twin boys in June. They were 3 months premature. One did not survive, one did. Only weighed 2 lbs. so he was in the NICU unit at a large city hospital 1 and a half hours away. My husband was in a different hospital about 1/2 hour away. Summer of 2007 spent going to both hospitals and trying to keep working since my husband was not. Very difficult time for my whole family. My grandson came home in August and my daughter brought him to my husband's hospital so that he could hold him. Still cry when I look at that picture. My husband was only 49 years of age and was so excited to becoming a grampa. I keep thinking that I will wake up and this is all a dream. We were married for 28 years. Celebrated our last anniversary in the hospital. Miss him just as much now as when he first died. I have 2 daughters and 1 son and have an extended church family. But still am lonely because so many people don't understand and have quit asking me how I am. They think I should be OK by now. He was my best friend -- we started dating in high school. I never thought things would go this way. Hate him sometimes for leaving me behind.
grammyofone grammyofone
46-50
2 Responses Feb 28, 2009

I lost my wife 2 weeks ago,Its so very hard right now.Been married 42 years and I cant figure out why ,But I will make it.Good to have some one to talk with

I know I'm young but things will get better at some point...Both losses have been upsetting I'm sure and times may seen bleak, but it will shape up and being to look brighter for you. I'm sure that nobody will be able to replace your soul mate but hold on to what you have...your family and friends...tell them your still upset and not dealing with this well....reach out to them for comfort and look to god for comfort as well. I really hope this helped in some way....I really do...keep holding on and things will get better...trust me.