I've Never Felt Such Heartache

My wife Susan and I have been married 37 years, and she died suddenly (1/29/09) from a heart attack on the morning of our 37th wedding anniversary.  She was in good health and wasn't complaining of anything., I kissed her goodbye, told her Happy Anniversary, asked her to think of a restaurant that we could go to that evening, and I went to work.  When I came home that evening I found her laying on the bathroom floor still in her pajamas.  I lover her with all my heart and I always felt her love for me.  I am so sad, empty and the heartache is so overwhelming.  We have 3 wonderful sons, great daughter-in-laws and 2 adorable grandchildren that have been so helpful to me in so many ways during all of this, but the loss of my wife is so hard for me to handle.  I put on a happy face around others, but inside I am really struggling with this feeling of loss....  

thebhouse thebhouse
56-60
7 Responses Mar 8, 2009

wow. i know how you all feel. it seems sureal and its like a nightmare that you just want to wake up from. my husband of 22 years died from a medical ""accident". you will have heartbreaking days and days that arent so bad. do you have signs from your loved one? my husband is very active and lets me know that he his watching over me<br />
shelleyl

Oh, how I understand your crushed heart. I am so sorry you had to be the one to walk in and find her. Its so shocking to have this happen, much less remember the way things were that day. Its so unreal. <br />
Your in my prayers. <br />
<br />
My husband walked into heaven on March 6, 2009. <br />
Married for 38 years, the love of my life. Just celebrated his 60th birthday. He was at work and the EMS stated he did not have any pain. He just went to sleep. <br />
I sure miss him. Can not beleive I am on here either. Just searching I guess. Searching for the puzzle to make a picture and I don't think I will ever understand this. I know I am so lost, so sad, and I will never be the same again.

I lost my husband of 37 years in November 2008 and feel that now I am just starting to pick up the pieces. It was just awful to see such a big strong man waste away with cancer and i could do nothing to ease his pain. My kids are grown up and have been a blessing but they have their own lives to lead. I find the weekends are the worst on your own and dread the bank holidays.<br />
It does get easier but the pain is always with you and its little things like you think you should tell him something but he is not there any more. I am having some of his ashes made into a glass pendant so that I can keep him with me always near my heart.<br />
Just remember that we all feel the same and you are not alone<br />
Take care

I also lost my wife of 37 years in January 2009. She wasted away from cancer in 11 months. In Feb 2008 on Valentines Day when she was diagnosed, she looked like a gorgeous 35 year old at 58. At the end she looked like a Holocaust victim.<br />
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I truly know your pain. It is not easy by any means. My 4 grown kids are struggling with the loss of the glue that kept our family together. She was the love of my life....we met in college when she was 18 and I was 20....we were together ever since and my life will never be the same. It is almost unimaginable to me to actually be writing these words. Hang in there. You will get through it as I am starting to. But it still hurts.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband Dec. 30, 2008. I understand the pain of heartache and the lonliness you feel. Give your self time to grieve the loss of your loved one. I too have family around but they do not fill the void left by my husband, no one can. Don't keep all those emotions bottled up inside. Cry when you feel like it. It is immensely healing for all. The road ahead for all of us has changed drastically and we need to take things slowly and learn about yourselves and how to cope now that our loved one has gone. I think you are very brave for returning to work so quickly, I have not been able to do so yet, but I feel that it is the next step I must make. Please be very kind to yourself right now and take heart that there are many of us out here who completely understand the pain that dwells within your heart and emptiness you feel. You are not alone. Take Care.

March 13th will be 3 months since I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack. (He was only 46). I have dealt with my grief privately. I went back to work and put up the same "happy" face that you are referring to. All my co-workers comment on how well I am doing...little do they know that I am broken and suffering immensely. <br />
<br />
The week ends are the hardest for me because I am alone. We had no children and I am a 5 hour drive from family and friends (Real friends), so my weekends are very lonely. I wake up on Saturday morning and ask myself why am I getting up? What do I have to look forward to? My answer to myself is "Nothing...absolutely nothing". <br />
<br />
I know he would want me to be stronger than this...in fact he would expect it from me. I just can't find that strength within myself....not yet.<br />
<br />
I find it helps me to talk to him...constantly. I was asking "why??" ALL the time and now I am just existing...going through the motions. Wondering what my future holds without him in my life.<br />
<br />
For you...I hope God embraces you with his warmth and you can heal. I am sooo sorry for your loss.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I lost the love of my life a year ago and I still feel the same way, if not worse. Putting on that happy face may not be real, but it's a nice escape. When others think you're okay, you can almost pretend to be. Don't bottle things up inside though, when you need to cry then cry, if you need to punch a wall then by all means do that too. You need to let these things out in order to get through this. You don't need to be around people to do it, others only complicate things. <br />
If you ever need to talk just message me<br />
Resem9