My First Husband Died

My first husband killed himself. That was twelve years ago. I have rer-married two years ago. I wanted to raise our children before I dated. He left four children asking why.

debysboys27 debysboys27
51-55, F
12 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Thanks so much for the comments E. That is a wonderful<br />
<br />
way to put it. I am glad that so much time has passed.<br />
<br />
My children are awesome human beings. He is missing a<br />
<br />
lot. Thanks again for the sweet words of wisdom. They<br />
<br />
help a lot! Much Love , Debby xxxxxx

That is such a wonderful comment sweetie. It makes so <br />
<br />
much sense. Thanks for that you are such a good<br />
<br />
person. Love Debby xxxxx

wow maam im proud of you.. you have all my respect.. my mom raise us up alone.. she teach us how to be strong like you maam.. <br />
<br />
So dont give up maam.. there are lot of solution.. my father died also 7 years ago.. but my mom still strong for us.. dont give up.. try to read this mom.. <br />
maybe it can help.. http://www.thankgodforebooks.com/husband-died.html

You are such and strong person. I admire you and all the goodness that you put forth and the caring that you have for other people. I am glad that I am getting to know such a grand person. Hugs

Thanks for that Evania! That made my day. You have a <br />
<br />
really good way with words. I really believe that It did <br />
<br />
make me stronger. No doubt about that.<br />
<br />
You said that you have two little girls! What a gift.<br />
<br />
I love little girls. Having two of my own(now grown)<br />
<br />
Honey I believe my children weathered it really well.<br />
<br />
Oh It was, and is still hard for them. But they have all <br />
<br />
gone on to be productive, happy people. That is my <br />
<br />
biggest joy. I like the analogy of the potatoes and eggs.<br />
<br />
You seem like a lovely , caring person. Thanks for the <br />
<br />
care. Love Debby

Wow Deby. You have my deep respect and appreciation. As I read your story, I thought of something I heard when I was little. That people are either like potatoes, or like eggs, that, when boiled, one gets softened, and the other hardened. I believe you are the beautiful person you are today, in part, as a result of the tremendous experiences that you have had. I did not discount the fact that he did it on your birthday. As if there was cynicism in the picture, to top it off. I am sorry dear dear Deby. I am glad it's 12 years ago and not 2 months. Bless your heart and I hope your children also are like you, (potatoes :-) that have softened and their suffering will teach them many many good lessons that I hope lighten the burden that life can be on unsuspecting and spoiled kids that know no suffering, no sacrifice. <br />
I feel my words are very inadequate. But I hope they convey my care for you.<br />
Evania

You are right about it being hard on the loved ones!<br />
<br />
My eldest daughter had just graduated high school.<br />
<br />
My youngest son was so hurt. We did councelling for<br />
<br />
a few months. My baby daughter used to crawl into bed<br />
<br />
with him for comfort. So much harder on them than me.

Oww thanks so much for those lovely comments! That<br />
<br />
brought a tear to my eye. I am so very glad that we are<br />
<br />
friends. Hugging you back! Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

So true. Gone is gone. He really does have his own<br />
<br />
problems! i know what you mean about wishing that it<br />
<br />
was different for the kids. I felt the same. Sorry about <br />
<br />
your mom Annie. It is so hard. <br />
<br />
That is awful that your husband just walked out. What <br />
<br />
a coward. Sorry. But men do seem to take the easy way <br />
<br />
out in these situations. In mine he put a gun in his <br />
<br />
mouth on my bithday. We are very strong now.<br />
<br />
Thanks for all of your support. It means everything!

How awful that must have been for you and the boys! My mom pretty much gave up too, and I always thought she was the strongest person I ever knew,, I feel that we have a constant struggle inside of us, the one who wants to give up, the other who wants one more day, just have to hope that the latter of the two keeps winning the battle!

I think that you are very right about "Its a wonderful life!" That movie has special powers. I think that most of us "mull it over" for a minute. In my husbands case he just gave up on life. Also he was alcoholic and tried very hard to stop drinking. Still it is hard to explain to a twelve year old why his dad didn't try even harder.

I feel for you and your children. Difficult to understand but I had career problems over a few years and in the worst moments thought about killing myself to hurt my manager - now where does that come from? In the past and sorted out now, but I do remember that thoughts of my children always stopped me - that and, don't laugh please, the James Stewart film "Its a Wonderful Life!" Maybe Clarence tha angel was around me somewhere!