Our Bags Were Packed

Four years ago last October. My Husband and I had our bags packed to go on our first cruise. Our oldest son was going to get married on the cruise.

We just had to work Friday and then we would be off first thing Saturday morning. My Husband kissed me goodby drove to work, got out of his car and fell over dead of a heart attack, he was 49.

My Son flew in for the funeral but was unable to go to the grave site service, because he would miss the ship. He HAD to go, all of this wife to be family was going to. I had to miss my son's wedding. I hate it that every year when his anniversary comes around he will associate it with the death of his Father.

It has been a hard 4 years but I think I have finally came out the other end of the long tunnel of grief that consumed me for so long. I am dating a wonderful man, but I just can't let him in to thoughts and the level of closeness I had with my Husband. We were married for 24 years before his death.

I would like to hear from anyone that has taken that step to let someone new into their lives.

peachyi peachyi
51-55, F
1 Response Mar 22, 2009

Good for you. I think the important thing is for you not to feel guilty for finding some happiness again. And no, you could not have the same level of intimacy that you had with your husband, you had 24 years to work on that. That was a terrible way to lose your husband. I can tell you there is no good way. Everyone has a holiday or occasion that happened near the time of their loss. But don't feel guilty for moving on with your life. It is your llife and you need to live it. We all do. And who knows who sent that new someone your way?