Humiliated,disrespected and Betrayed

I am a widow. My husband collapsed at work and never regained conscienceness.He died around 1 am. He was only 55.I thought that I was devistated beyond defeat until the night of the visitation.His nephew, (his brothers son)made a slide show which I of course was all for. I thought it was a great idea. Then I attempted to watch it and could't believe what I was watching. I should first say that I met my husband and started dating him on May 19 1991. I was 25 he was 38. I moved in with him in his home 1n 1996. 13 years ago. We were married on June 23 2007. He joked and told people that,"We believe in long engagements." He has an ex-wife and two grown sons.He was married to her for 10 years then she divorced him and kicked him out about the time we met. We would have been together for 18 years.Ther was at least 15 pictures in the slide show of Johnnie with his ex and approximately 2 of Johnnie and me.His ex and her mother also stood by the casket greeting people like they had the right to stand there with the widow. Her mom kept saying "He used to call me mom all the time." over and over until if I had not have left I would have said "Yea? Well,do you see that woman over there?"pointing to my mom,"That's who he calls mom now!!!"How rude. But I was in shock and this did not hit me until way later.That isn't even a drop in the bucket,it becomes so much more twisted and horrible and I feel like I am walking around in a horrible nightmare just waiting to be pushed off the cliff.He died March 11 and we buried him on the 14th One month and 5 days since I saw my husband alive. I am so scared and I don't know what to do or where to turn.Then after his brother stood up at the cemetary and said how he knew Johnnie loved me and how he was going to help me get through this,I find out that not only was his brother left the beneficiary of the 10,000 dollar life insurance policy but he was also left the beneficiary of the 11,000 dollar Lagers retirement,and my husband was a 33 year employee to the City of Springfield,Mo. His last check would have been about 5,000 dollars and the city gave his brother his last check saying because we were not married 2 years. June 23 2009 would have been 2 years. So they start taking Johnnies name off of all our services but not paying the bill.So I was left with all my services trying to shut me down I had to give C-U over 400 dollars and they said I was still going to get a shut off notice. These people(the people who stood up in front of God and everyone promising to help me,who unfortunately live next door to me)went so far as to try and cancel my car insurance!IS THIS REAL? I DONT LIKE THIS NIGHTMARE!                                      I CANT GET ANY LEGAL HELP ANYWHERE AND MY NAME IS NOT ON OUR HOUSE AND I KNOW THEY ARE GOING 

TO TAKE IT TOO!!

Plus St. Johns where my husband died,called yesterday wanting to speak to Johnnie

Taylor.I AM CLOSE TO LOSING MY MIND SERIOUSLY THE INCOME TAX IS GONE I HAVE TO FIND A JOB AND I

HAVENT EVEN BEEN ABLE TO PROPERLY GREIVE.I HATE THIS ****** UP PLACE WHO CARES ABOUT THE 18 YEARS I SPENT LOVING A HOPELESS DRUNK WHO ENDED UP ******* ME IN THE END