I lost the love of my life, my husband, and father of my two amazing boys on February 28, 2009 at 6:48 pm from a massive unexpected and inexplicable deadly heart attack at home. We were on our way to the boys baseball game. They worked on him for an hour and they couldn't save him. We were together 17 years and now he's gone. How can he be gone? I still can't believe it. I relive that day over and over. Nothing makes sense anymore. I haven't skipped a beat for my children's sake but I'm just going through the motions. I long for him every hour of everyday and pray to have him if only in my dreams but I can't even get that.