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I Am a Widow

I Am Lost

By: amykd1127
Written on October 13th, 2009

I LOST MY HUSBAND AND BEST FRIEND OF 18 YEARS JUNE 2009.I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD  FEEL SO MUCH HURT AND ANGER.IM 33 YEARS OLD AND I AM A WIDOW. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COMPREHEND THAT.I AM SOOO ANGRY AND LOST WITHOUT HIM.WE MET WHEN I WAS15.WE MARRIED AND HAD 2 AMAZING CHILDREN.MY HUSBAND BATTLED DRUG ADDICTION FOR SEVERAL YEARS.HE AS A WONDERFUL FATHER AND HUSBAND.HIS FATHER ABUSED HIM AS A CHILD AND TOOK HIS OWN LIFE WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS 16.HE NEVER DEALT WITH HIS ISSUES AND ENDED HIS LIFE THE SAME AS HIS FATHER.I HAVEENT TOLD MY CHILDREN HOW HE DIED THEY ARE ONLY 8 AND 11.I AM SO SCARED.I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THEIR FATHERS LIFE TO THEM.THERE IS NO ONE IN MY LIFE THAT I CAN RELATE TO. I FEEL SO LOST AND ALONE. I BEG GOD TO GIVE ME STRENGTH AND COURAGE,BUT I FEEL IM LOSING FAITH,AND THAT SCARES ME MORE.

By: amykd1127
Age: 31-35 , Female
316 people have read this story

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3 responses
  • LKRK
    LKRK

    My heart and prayers go out to you. I'm so sorry for your tragic loss. I can't even imagine the pain with your children and trying to tell them about their father. I know God will tell you when the time is right.



    My precious Husband was deliberately killed by the doctor who was suppose to save his life and I still don't know how to deal with any of it. Together we have three grown children and two grandchildren, one of which my precious Husband never got to see. His first Granddaughter. Breaks my heart every day.



    It's been almost 5 years and it still seems like yesterday and the pain has not gotten any better.



    Please write to me anytime.



    Angel Blessings,



    LKRK

    Oct 19, 2009
    1 like
  • KJ07
    KJ07

    So sorry for your loss...I was widowed at 36 ..I can relate to being so angry that this could happen! ..and in disbelief ..and my heart felt physically broken. But my children..(9, 2 and 9 months) needed me to be strong and carry on. .Im so sorry that you have that job ahead of you to explain the situation to your children...but only you will now when the right time is and how to do that..I hope you stay strong and get through this painful time...KJ

    Oct 15, 2009
    1 like
  • rayswife
    rayswife

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is really hard to know what to say... your children just need to know that they are loved. Wait until they are older before trying to address the way he died. I am praying that God brings you the peace you need in this hectic, crazy, painful time. God Bless you and your children!

    Oct 14, 2009
    1 like