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The Holidays

I AM RECENTLY WIDOWED.. ITS BEEN ONLY 6 MONTHS.. WE WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS.. IF ITS POSSIBLE, THE LAST 3 YRS OF HIS LIFE, WE GREW EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH THE BIRTH OF OUR GRANDSON.. BUT ON MAY 14, 2009, MY HUSBAND, AGE 54,  OF 33 YRS PASSED AWAY SUDDENLY, IN FRONT OF ME, OF A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK. I TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET HIM BACK, BUT ACCORDING TO THE AUTOPSY REPORT, NOTHING WOULD OF SAVED HIM. HE CAME HOME FROM WORK AT 5:30, DID HIS NORMAL ROUTINE, WENT UPSTAIRS TO CHANGE AND REST FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES, CAME DOWN THE STAIRS AT 5:55, SAID HE HAD A MASSIVE HEADACHE. I TOLD HIM TO TAKE 3 ASPRINS, HE DID, LAID DOWN ON THE COUCH. MY FIRST MOM (I WATCH KIDS) CAME IN TO PICK UP HER SON, SHE TOLD HIM HE DIDNT LOOK GOOD, HE TOLD HER ABOUT HEADACHE. THEN MY NEPHEW CAME IN, PICKED UP HIS DAUGHTER, HE SAT UP, TALKED WITH HIM FOR A FEW MINUTES, HE WALKED OUT THE DOOR, AS I WATCHED HIM BY THE WINDOW PUT HIS DAUGHTER IN THE CAR, I SAID TO MY HUSBAND, 5 MIN'S TILL DINNER, AFTER DINNER I WILL GO TO STORE AND GET YOU MIGRANE ASPRINS, MY NEPHEW PULLED AWAY FROM THE CURB AND IT ALL FELL APART, MY HUSBAND YELLED OUT MY NAME, I LOOKED OVER AND HE WAS .. I CANT PUT INTO WORDS WHAT I EXPERINCED.. BUT BY 6:05 911 WAS CALLED AND MY LIFE, MY SON AND HIS FAMILIES LIFE, AND ALL THE REST OF THE FAMILY, CHANGED.. I AM A TRUE BELIEVER IN WHEN ITS YOUR TIME ITS YOUR TIME, BUT WHEN IT HAPPENED TO ME, WELL.... I SOLD OUR HOUSE, MOVED IN WITH OUR SON AND HIS FAMILY, TO HELP EACHOTHER THROUGH THESE "FIRSTS" TIMES. I WIL DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO WITH MY HOUSING SITUATION LATER! WE WERE AND STILL ARE AN EXTREMELY CLOSE FAMILY, FAMILY MEANT EVERYTHING TO HIM AND I. AND WITH THE HOLIDAYS UPON US, I AM FINDING IT SO DIFFICULT TO HANDLE. MY SON AND I DECIDED TO GO ON AND STILL HOST THANKSGIVING, HE WOULD NOT WANT US "NOT" TO HAVE IT, BUT I CRY EVERY MENTION OF IT. HE WAS SUCH A BIG PART OF THE CARVING....I DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.. I PRAY HE WILL GUIDE ME! AND CHRISTMAS, WITH OUR GRANDSON, WAS HIS PRIDE AND JOY... ALSO HE WAS AN ONLY BROTHER TO 3 OLDER SISTERS AND I KNOW, THIS IS GOING TO BE HARD ALSO, I NEED SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS.. MY HEART IS SO BROKEN AND THE TEARS DO NOT STOP!

EC29 EC29 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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My prayers are for you and your family. I lost my husbanf of37 years on July 22, 2010. It was sudden (massive heart attack). I was staying witrh my mother at the time because she had just come home from the hospital and I had informed him earlier that evening that I was coming home that nextmorning. Those were our last words"See you in the morning". The holidays are especially hard. Sometimes I don't know how I can get through them. Our anniversary is Thursday, 12,30,2010 and don't know how I can make it. I am now living with my mother because I just can't live alone now. We also lost our son on Good Friday of this year. I have no advice for you except to prayerfully take one day at a time. The pain will never go away, but you will be able to cope with your loss as time passes.

I lost my husband of 25 years 2 years ago. I know that when you have spent so much of your life with that special person, losing them changes everything. And you will relive that shock of the experience over and over. All I can say is that I agree with the comments above: never be afraid to cry and let your feelings out. As hard as it is, it is worse if you don't. I have started crying sometimes and felt like I would never stop, but, after a bit, the tears stop and I can wash my face and get on with the day. You are lucky to have a close family to be with. I have a 23 yr old daughter and a wonderful 17 month old granddaughter, and if it weren't for them, sometimes I think I might have gone crazy, but it does get better, slowly, but it does. Nothing will ever be the same. It obviously can't be. You have to treasure the things your husband gave you, and use that strength to move into a new one...

i am so sorry for your loss, please come on and talk<br />
anytime, i am hear to talk and listen, i lost my husband<br />
of 18.5 yrs. 14 months ago. we have two teenagers<br />
my daughter 16 my son 13. you are in my prayers<br />
hugs to you connie

Know that you are not alone here, I am crying just reading your story. I too am at the 6 month mark, and I still really can't believe it's real yet. Me and my husband were not highschool sweethearts, but I met him when I was nineteen years old, he was so much of me, that I find myself comepletley lost at times. I think that if you want to cry, then cry. No one will hold anything against you. My husbands 34th birthday would have been tomorrow, then on to the holidays. The torture can seem never ending at times. If you would ever like to chat I'm here.

I feel for you. And I will certainly say a prayer that you and your family find comfort soon

I am staring 1 year in the face 4th December, all i can suggest after having survived may 1st this year is to have a good cry in the morning and release all the pent up stress and then try to enjoy the day as best as you can, enjoy being with you children, you will get so used to putting on a brave face, we all become such good actors, <br />
don't let it consume every minute of the day, he would be so dissappointed if he knew you were so sad on such a wonderful holiday<br />
i have found going to the cemetary and having a good sob releases some grief and enables me to enjoy some calmness<br />
good luck to you hope you can have a good day