So Sad, Don't Know If I Can Lead Off With All Of It

Wife at 40, diagnosed with triple neg breast cancer .  We fought for year and a half and lost.  Up until then we had not been getting along well.  Cancer bonded us closer than ever and I loved this woman.. cannot imagine ever finding another friend, mother, etc that could ever take place. yongest child daughter autistic, oldest daughter 16, keeps all to herself. I am doing good job caring for them. An old friend (female) from high school it seems never stopped liking me; she read a blog I had about our battle and we've been in correspondence.  I am full of trepidation and fear.  Wife died Aug 31 after terrible battle.  My problem. Despite I am caring for these children including the one with a disability in my opinion, excellent. My main priority forever.  I am lonely.  I feel incredible guilt and shame that it has been so few months since death.  know it would upset my daughters as if I were trying to replace her.  I don't even want to date on regular basis, nor do I think or know I have real feelings for this person.  Yet she has been fair, not pushy, understanding, and I'm personally godawful lonely. It started when we weren't getting along and then due to chemo, haven't had real physical or romantic type relationship in years. But we were best parents in the world, and were united in every way and we loved each other.  My feelings are so messed up.  Would a one time dinner with this person be horrible? Is there a set waiting time that the general public perceives.  Noone can understand the depth of my love for my passed wife.  I would have died for her to live.  But I am lonely.  But afraid I will get entangled and then not be able to get out.  Any advice. And I mean sincere stuff, not go for it, without sound reason behind it.  Last thing, I do not want to hurt my oldest who in any way might interpret I am trying to replace her wonderful mother, or anything similar.  I am in horror that so soon after, my feelings are such as they are.  Afraid if I did, the shame would drive me down steeper depression.  Hope someone can relate.  Zen